


hanzo's vore daddy: rebirth

by Anonymous



Series: hanzo's vore daddy [2]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Mpreg, Vore, daddy mccree, mccree is prego, pregnant mccree
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2017-08-14
Packaged: 2018-08-31 02:43:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 44
Words: 30,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8560288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: after the events of Hanzo's Vore Daddy,  mccree is prego with his lover, hanzo. follow him through his journey in pregnancy and the eventuality of giving birth





	1. 5 months

**Author's Note:**

  * For [all my bois across the world](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=all+my+bois+across+the+world).



> be sure to be acquainted with "hanzo's vore daddy" the prequel to this fic.  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8555251  
> im not making a series because it will probably show my name as the creator of the series and it would be a llittle embarrassing i think.

it had been 5 months since the fateful day when mccree had vored his lover hanzo. and now he was pregnant with him. mccree touched his belly contentedly and sighed because he was very glad his lover hanzo was inside of him.

lucio and genji (who were also there) were also gvery glad, crowding around him. they had bought him lots of maternity clothing and babby booties for the baby. :)

"i have a stomach ache" said mccree sadly.

"that means he is kicking" said genji

lucio had removed his headphones and put them on mccree's stomach. "that's how you get tinnitus" he said.

mccree slapped the headphones away into lucio's face. "You are giving him tinnitus!" he spat

he bagen to cry. he didnt want his lover hanzo to have tinnitus. lucio (who was also crying because the headphones were smashe on the floor) tried to comfort him.

"hey it's okMcCree." he whispered. but it wasn't ok. Those headphones were $600

"really?" said mccree looking into lucio's eyes emotionally and crying.

"Yes."

mccree smiled at his friend Lucio. "you're a good friend lucio. no homo" he added quickly, and ran away.

later, mccree walked into mercy's office. "i'm pregneat" he stated

mercy turned around and look at him. "i know." she whispered. there were bags under her eyes and her breath smelled of coffee. she had not slept in 5 months trying to figure our how mccree had gotten prgegnant.

suddenly winston came into the room. "mercy......mercy he said yes!" he shouted with tears in his eyes.

"what? who?" axed mccree.

"who other than my fiance zenyatta? woo hoo" he said and ran out of the room.

mercy and mccree both wathed him leave. winston seemed to be very excited to be engaged to Zenyatta. Mccree checked Fecebook on his cellphone and saw that winston had just posted about it. he gave it a like and commented "LOL (lots of love) congrats! whens the baby? ;)"

"mccree" mercy said from the front of the room. she looked dead. but she was not dead. "i have to asdk you something."

"ya"

"how........did u get pregnant?"

"O that's easy LOL!" said mccree laughing. "i just vored my boi hanzo! and now hes in here" he touched his stomach contentedly. he was wearing an orange Club Pneguin maternity shirt

mercy stared at him from accross the room. "you.....'vored' him?" unfortunately she knew what vore was. "how....how does that worcc..... how is that possible...." the 5 months without sleep and lots of coffee got to her and she passed out on the floor

"oh no" said mccree and he took her to her bed and he ran away, maybe to have a quicc snacc or somtething at mcdonald's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone who just reads the first chapter and then leaves a comment flaming my fic or asking if it's joke fic. i see you. dont think i dont check every day for a comment only to see you people reading the first chapter, out of 15+ chapters, then writing a comment "lol Wtf is this?"and leaving. i see all of you. dont read thoroughly before you flame, dont think i wont shame :/  
> the rest of u thanx for your support!!!!! :) love u


	2. new xhapter (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mccree, hanzo, and mercy have agood time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanx for ur reviwins and kind support

As mccree walked to McDonalds he wondered what he would order. a big mac (for his big boy in his belly!) or a small mac? he decided to order 2 big macs 1 for him 1 for hanzo.

“2 big macs, 1 for me 1 for my boy. no homo” he stated touching his tummy with a smile and looking at the cashier. the cashier looked back at him and looked a little disturbed but mccree didn’t care.

“ok” said the cashier “that will be $69”

“OMG” said mccree “that’s the 69 number! LOL” he winked at the cashier. “no homo”

he paid for his burgers and sat down in a booth. a young lady sat down next to him and winked. it was….Mercy!

she winked again. “sorry theres something stuck in my eye.” she said as she winked again. 

mccree winked back at her. inside of him hanzo winked but nobody knew. mercy looked at his pregnant stomach and did not look very happy. she was wearing a hatsune miku short sleeve T shirt with a black long sleeve shirt under it and ripped mom jeans.

“mccree this is a problem. how are u going to …. give birth? …” stated mercy concernedly, with concern.

“surgery of course! LOL” said mccree. he took a bite of his big man.

mercy took a bite of her lowfat fries and diet milk. “i see” she stated. takigng another sip of her diet milk. “do you want to go to the park later?”

“yes” said mccree

later they were at the park. there were a lot of seagulls, children,and pigeons there so mccree was feeding them big macs. he touched his tummy with a smile. “wish u were here” he whispered to hanzo.

mercy was staring at him. “that is very strange” she stated.

mccree strarted to cry. mercy was juding him. “i am who i am.” he turned away darkly. “and if you cant accept me for it… then...i-i-i can’t forgive u!” he stated and ran away crying.

“oh no!” stated mercy. she looked for mccree all over the overwatch base, McDonalds, and the library but he was gone...


	3. Chspter 3 The Awakingnjng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> another action placked chapter

Mercy was hplding a meeting in the Overwatch base. she slammed her hands on the table.

“ouch” said the table

“everyone!” said mercy. “Mccree has gone missing and I don't know where he webt.” she started to cry tears of blood. “it's all my fault….”

“aw mercy it’s ok.” Lùco walked up to her and put his arm around her but his hand was hovering slightly over her waist. “We will find him :3”

“ok” said mrecy and stopped crying.

“I think its great that hes gone.” she looked up to see who owned the dark and murcy voice that had spoken up then. It was…..reaper! “Stupid pregnant mcree.”

“Shut up reaper.” Mercy said.

“ok” said reper. he was crying. 

“Ok who is going out with my to find mccree and hanzo? BTW hanzo is missing too. i haven’t seen him in 5 months where did he go LOL!”

“LOL!” said everyone at the meeting. They decided that Lucio, Genji,Junkrat, and Mercy would group up to find McCree and hanzo.

They went out all over the city but they could not find him. They went into the mens toilets and even the women toilets but he was not there!

“WHERE IS HE!!!!” screeched mercy.

Then she saw something. “Everyone come look at this.” she said and everyone came around to see. They gasped.


	4. Ch@pter 4: surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new character

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi gyyw no one else is making fanart for my fic so i did  
> <https://i.imgur.com/K90a1e5.png>  
> R&R

no one could believe what they were seeing in front of them in that day. It was… Repper’s  lemonade stand!

“Hi.” said Reape. “Do you want to buy some lemonade?” However he did not have any lemonade. on his stand was several staccs of paper. And on the paper was lots and lots of McReaper smut.

“What is this?” mercy screeched when she read the smut. Luvio, genji, and junjrat were also all very shocked and horrified.

“I wrote it myself.” said Rapper.

“OMG you are suppsed to be searching for Jesse not writing self insert smut about him! Die.” Mercy roared.

“ok” reer said sadly. he was crying as he took the smut in his shadowy arms and flew away.

Back in the alley Mercy, lücio, junkrat, and genji were crying. Mascara oozed down Mercy and Genji’s faces.

“We will never find him,” metcy wept as she reapplied her makeup and fondant onto her face.

Suddenly a purple blur sprd by, too fast for the naked eye. It was…..sombra!

“Hello everyone.” said some bra.

“sombra? What are you doing here?” Mercy roared.

“I believe I can help you on your quest…..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!” Sombra giggled.

“What? How?” mercy asked.

“I know where your amigo….Jesse McCree….is.” sm bra said. “But everything has a price. Except this sweet outfit.” she turned around and showed mercy the price tag. It was $300! “I hacked the price into $0.” she whispered to Mercy.

“Theft!” Mercy screeched as she pointed at Sombra. “But that is a pretty sweet outfit.” Sombra nodded. She was wearing bright purple and blue pumps with a miniskirt to match, along with a bright purple and blue Club Penguin shirt custom made for her penguin. She looked sick as frick and very fresh.

“Where did you get it?” Mercy axed.

“Forever 21.” Sombra said.

“Ok thanks. By the way where is McCree?”

“Oh Reaper is hiding him in his creepy basement. He told me he was going to live what he had always been dreaming about or something, I wasn't listening LOL!”

“LOL!” Mercy giggled. “Ok thanks sombab, my boys and I are going to go find Mccree.”

“Ok bye mercy,  KIT.”

“Ok.” mercy and the boys headed to find Reper’s house.


	5. Chapter 5 the big boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BDSMwith reaper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyssss im baxc! playing overwatch free weekend was good and i bouhtt it :)  
> enjoy

McCree was having a dream.

_ “Daddy, give me some McD.” said hanzo in the dream. _

_ “Ok.” said McCree and he took him to McDonalds. _

_ “No I don't want McDonalds I want the McD!” hanzo roared lovingly. _

_ “Oh I see…” Mccree said and then they went back to his house. _

_ “The dragon consumes” hanzo roared. _

mccree woke up. that was a good memory. But now he was tied to a chair in a dark place. In front of him a single lightbulb dangled from the ceiling. And in front of him a shadow formed. it was….Reaper!

“Reaper what are you doing here!” he snarled holding his pregnant tummy. 

Reaper ignored him. “FINALLY!!! I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO DOTHIS FOR A VERY VERY LONG TIME!!!!!” he yelled in a dark voice.

“Vore me?” Mccree wondered.

“NO!” Reaper screeched. “I want to show you something.” he said. He turned on a light switch and the room lit up, but in a dark way because Reper was emo. He showed Mccree a powerpoint. “This is what we will be doing today…..”

Meanwhile Mercy, junkart, lucio, and Genji were breaking and entering into reaper’s house. They found the basement and went downstairs to see mcree tied up to a chair and reaper grinning at him evilly. In front of them was a big powerpoint. Mercy read the big letters on the front.

“ **BDSM.** ”

AKA Bible Discussion & Study Meeting. Mercy knew reaper’s secret now. Rearper…..was a christian.

“Reaper you’re a Christian??!?!” Mercy roared.

Reaper turned around. “Yes. By the way I changed my name to spread the Good News. It's Gabriel now.” he told them. “Also there are more members of Overwatch who are christian as well....” He lifted his dark shadowy cloak to reveal Wdidowmaker and Torbjorn who stepped out in front of them.

Wodowmaker turned to mercy. Her clothes no longer showed like half of her boobs. Now it was replaced with a floral dress like tyler joseph but with a skirt underneath and other conservative clothing. “Ever since Gabriel took me to church for the first time,I feel like I have been reborn in our savior.” she lifted her gaze to the heavens with her hands in prayer. “SOMEDAY HE WILL RETURN!” Reaper and torbjorn were also praying with her.

“Ok.” said mercy.

Suddenly m, soldier 76 ran inside. “HEY EVERYONE IM A POLICE OFFICE. PUT UR HANDS UP! hahaha just kidding LOL!” Then he saw Gabrel. “R-...reaper?” But tyere was only coldness in his piercing blue orbs. He had broken up with him long ago and had not seen him in 76 years.

“It’s over Jacc.” Reper said coldly. He was crying.

“Ok cool but someone free me and my baby!” Mccree roared. “Shh it’s ok.” he said to his pregnant tummy as he touched it.

After looking at him weirdly soldier 76 untied him (and hanzo) from the chair. Then he turned to him, Mercy, Genji, Lúcíó, and junkrat. “Run… I'll take care of this alone.” He turned back to Reaper, widowmaker, and Tornjorn. “LET'S SETTLE THIS!!!” he shouted. His gun was ready. However, their biblss were ready...


	6. conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 864_&_:""+

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hapy ameician thanksgiving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> !  
> to jadenvagen: i love u too :) ernjoy everyone

It had beeb 1 week since soldier 76 had sacrificed himself bravely to save mercy, mccree, hanzo, Lucio, and junkrat. But ever since then none of them had ever seen him which was very concerning.

mercy was holding anothe r.meeting. She slammed her hands on the tablle and it broke so she threw it out the window wghre it landed on torbjorn breaking his spine. I hate yørbjorn die die die.

“Guys we have to find out where soldier 76 is.” she stated looking all around at the overwatcbh members gathered at the table.

“What isn't he at a retirement home by now? LOL.” said Dva. she was playing on her nintendo Dsi on pictochat with Mccree who was jealous and pregnant because he only had a ds and couldnt draw with the rajnbow pen. (no homo)

“NO”: MErcy screeced. “Not until next month.”

“What? Children behave he is not that old!” anna roared.

“Ok grandma.” dva said.

“Not yet.” Ana said with a wink and a smile looking at pharahpm who looked away crying silently. she was still single. farmersonly.com had not given her any results yet but she was still  very hopeful.

“Ok cool! Keep that out of the meeting” Mercy said. “Where is soldirr 76 we need to find him.” They decided mercy, junkrat, lucio, McCrr, and genji should team up to find him.

“Anyone want some rad tunes ciming your way???” lûcîô yelled as they searched for Solder 76.

“No.” mercy roared.

“Aw yea amp it up!” Luciio said at full volume. He was wearing his heasphones around his neck but with the volume all the way up so he was a music beacon. Lots of people stared at him when they were passing by. 

“Ahhhh turn it down lucio imm getting tinnitus!” McCree screeched.

“what?” lucio said. he couldnt hear mccree over his tinnitus.

anyway they were still searching for soldier 76 but…… they could not find him! They had searched the returement home and the stripclub but he was not there.

“Where could he be.” Mercy said weeping softly.

Suddenly Sombra appeared. 

“Ayyyy gurl whats up!” she said to mercy.

“O not much sister. U?” mercy said while she was crying.

“Not much….girl…….” sombra went to mercy and caressed her face. mercy wept. “¿why are u crying? tell me da truth girl!”

“oh nothing i...i.,.. Soldier 76 is missing!” mercy stated. wipinh away her tears and looking into sombras eyes. “we r trying to find him. but he isn’’t in the retitrment home OR the strip club…!!!!”

sombra look back at mercy. determination inside of her purple orbs. (she was wearing color contacfs.)

“gurl i believe in u. u can find him” she said. “whete did youbsrddee him last?”

“,...........REPER’S BASEMENT!!!” Merch roared. “Thanx sombra!! Ok guys lets go!”

“Text me” sombra said.

“yas gurl you bet.” mercy roared

they went to rer’s jhouse and went down into.the basement. it was very dark but mccree could see because he had night vision from when he tried to surgically turn himself into a vampire when he was 25.

“j-j-j-jack?” mccree called out, holding his pregnant tummy brotectively. (no homo)

then they all saw him at once. jacc steped  into the light holding something in his hands.

it was a bible!

“JACK YOUR A CHRISTIAN????” mercy roared


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyz  
> i couldnt slepp so i wrote this new chapter ,:)  
> it is 5:57 am now....enjoi

“yes im a christian.” jack spoke. his voice was calm and at peace like zenyata if he was 76 years old. “also please call me jacob now.”

“wtf?” sais mercy. she couldnt believe it. Reaper had converted soldier 76 (he was 76 years old.) “Reaper what have you done to soldier 76!”

Suddenly widowmaker stepped forward in fronr of jacjk protectively. “DON'T CALL HIM THAT ANYMORE!” she said screechily. “Jacob has let go of his past for his future. No longer will his sins of his past weigh him down. The Light is in view now and he won't let you bring him back to the sinner he once was! Repent.” she told Mercy, junkrat, Mccree, lūcio, and genji.

jackob nodded solemnly.

“Wat? im an athist.” junkart said atheistically. turning to his team. “Dont worry guys Oi will take care of this.” he spoke.

Junk took them upstairs to reper’s living room which had lots of smutty McRepet paintings hung up on the walls. then he threw bombs into the basement. giggling with glee he sadistically blew up the basement.

Jacc morrisom, Widowmaker, Reper, and Torbyboby were dead.

Suddenly Turvbvbhogidjdnbn walked into the room in a wheelchair. “WTF junjrat did u just blow up reaper’s basement? Sorry im christian i shouldn't swear.” he apologized.

“Ya. BTW i thought u were inside! Why arent you dead!” junkray angry screeched.

“i was in the bathroom…..” torby said.

“oh.” junkrat said.

“mercy please fix my spine” toblerons whimpered

“No. If you died i wouldn't res you you little worm. Your lfe is nothing but another little blodstain on my uniform. if you were bledcding out on the battlefield i would look you in the eyes and watch you slowly die. as much as id like to destroy your pathetic uselwess life like ypur skull under my heels i would rather see you suffer for as long as possible before death comes and drags you down to hell where ypu belong you piecw of garbage” mercy told toblerone

“ok” toby said sadly and went away.

“ok guys we dont have to find soldirr anymore so want to go to Starbuccs?” Mercy axed the bois.

“Ya!” Junkrat, lùcio, mccree, habzo, and genji said in unison.

Later they were at star bucks. They all took their orders and sat down at a table together. 

“6 drinks for….mercy and the cocaine kidz?”

lucio laughed as they went up to get the drinks together. “OMG how could they mess up ur name that bad mercy? LMAO” 

“i kno right? hahaha” mercy said sweatily. they got back 2 their table and began to drknk.

“Yum pumpkin spice!” mccree roared pouring the boiling liquid onto his pregnant tummy for hanzo to enjoy.

“Mccrre is such a white girl.” genji typed into instagram taking a selfie of him with prrego mccree in the background and slapping a filter onto that bad boy. he started to pour his own boiling drink into his metallic face. “Yassss pumpkin spice!”  he roared. his cyborg body was becoming soaked in pumpkin spice but he didnt care.

“How barbaric.” Mercy said shaking her head.

“I kno right.” Jinkrat said putting googly eyes on his pupils and looking at mercy.

“WTF” mercy screeched.

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA” jnnjnmrat giggled taking the lid off his whole coffee beans in a cup and pourng all of them into his mouth. he began to choke. “Ahgshg hslp me mrecy” he said as the gogly eyes were jigling on his real eyes

“wtf? no way” mercy said. junkeart stared at her as he died.

“ewww...fine...heroes never die” she said looking at his body.

junkrat was alive again. “thanx mercy! =D” he said.

“take of the googly eyes or i will leave u to die next time.” mercy told junkrs.

“ok :(“ junkrat said sasly as he took of rhe googly eyes.

but then they got kicked out of rhe starbuxx bcuz lucio’s music was too amped up.

 

meanwhile a dark emo looking shadow flew into its own bedroom...it was......... Reapee!

He was still alive. “My faith.....is shattered..........” he murmured darkly. mascara oozed down his dark face as he stared at a framed photo of him, widowmaker, and jak. No longer would they sing praises or hymns together.

his fist was clenched. “from now on i am… an athist!” 


	8. another cog in the murder machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lucio and mccr3e go on a mision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoi

mccree, hanjo, and lucio were on a misson together. this was a stealth mission so thry had to be very very quiet. they had to sneak into talons HQ and deliver the payload which was actually secretly a trap!

“lucio do u see any talon grunts?” mccree axed.

“no =(” lücio stated.

“hanzo what about u babe, do u see any talon grunts?”

hanzo did not reply. 

“thanks babe.” mccrre said anyway touching his tummy and smiling. then he turned to lucio. “ok let's go.”

then they went through the talon hallways. mccree had to walk slower than ususal becuase he was prego.

suddenly mccree’s phone began to ring!

_ THEY'RE GONÑA CLEAN UP UR LOOKS WITH ALL THE LIES IN THE BOOKS TO MAKE A CITIZEN OUT OF U. _

“Classic MCR.” mccree chuckled answering the phone and ending his ringtone of Gerard Way’s voice resounding and echoing through the entire talon hallway. he put the phone in speaker mode.

“what? MCR? that 2006 band?? Bruh.” lucio was Shook. “That was 70 years ago!”

McCree suddenly turned to face luco with his phone still lifted up to his face. “What? what are you saying about mcr, and how dare you. My Chemical romance is timeless music.” he snarled.

“WTF?” said mercy who was on the phone with mccree.

both lucio and mccree ignored her.

“You cant be serious right now.” Lucio said, his voice full of disbelief and mild disgust. “Everyone knows the sickest beats of THAT generation came from the legendary Skrillex.”

“SKRILLEX?” Mccree spat. around them was a growing crowd of talon grunts watching them. but he didn't care and neither did lució. “What is your problem, partner. It's not about the sick beats. it’s about our sick MINDS.”

“Ooooh did u take that one straight out of a twenty one pilots song?”

“WHAT! leave tyler and jøsh out of this you….you heathen!”

“TYLER AND JOSH ARE DEad” lucio screeched

“SHUF UP, PARTNER” mccree was crying.

“does anyone else like beethoven” mercy said timidly

in the background over the phone they heard a large clashing. another distant voice joined the fray.

“beethoven? I LOVE Beethoven!” someone roared passionately. it was...........Winston!

lucio, mccree, hanzo, and the talon members listened closely to mccree’s phone as they heard thr new sound of wheels squeaking and approching.

“.....does anyone else like one direction?” toblerone axed. however no one responded. there was silence for 5 minutes. they heard the sound of the wheels rolling away sadly.

“what a loser. i hate him so much. I wish he was dead.” a talon member said. everyone agreed with him.

“actually aren’t you supposed to be shootin at us rn?”

the talon grunts all nodded. “Yea.” they said in unison. “but mccree you are just so hot we feel it would be a sin to tarnish your beautiful face.”

“WTF? I’m taken” mccree roared as he high nooned them on their way to the new world. then he kissed his gloved hand and touched his stomach with it. “for u babby~” he whispered. 

Meanwhile lucio was playing skrillex over his speakers. “u likw that mccree?” he screeched as skrillex began to sing.

mccree ignired him because he was texting genji. “Bruh u got 2 com over here u will nvr beliv what dat boi just sais 2 me!” 

“OMW” genjo texted back.

5 minutes later genji came into the room. “what seems to be da problem? .....wait....lucio....”

“Ya?” lucio said.

“Is dat.,.....Skrillex?” Genji axed.

“u bet baby!” Lucio roared.

“OMG I LOVE SKRILLEX!!!!!!” Genji screeched.

“YASSSSS GENJI!!!!!” lucio roared in time with the skrillex music blasting from his headphons.

“Sinners.Sinners all of u. im kinkshaming.” mccree whiped out his kinkshane checklist. “Music Kink… lucio.”

luccio stopped jamming to skrillex to stare at mccree. “Wat?”

mccree only stared at lucio. even harder. “also a furry but whit frogs.” he noted. “slimely wet amphibian skiny….”

genii also stopped dancing to look at lucio strangely and move away from him to mccree’s side. “lucio u never told me about this?” he said.

“hes lying.” lucio cried sadly.

mccree also stared hard at genji. he turned to another page in his kinksham notebook. “genji....OMG....”

“What. Tell me.What are my kinks. ” genji axed anxiously.

“C-c-c-cowboy kink.” mccree whispered

“Bruh!” lucio roared. 

“Wat?” genji screeched. he backed away from mccree. “I-i have to go.” he said shyly, and ran away.


	9. secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new things are learned about us and ourselves..........

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hoi guys some of u are saying this is just like my immortal and u arre WRONG this is WAY BETER! gerard way will not be appearing in this story b/c he is DEAD in this story! die die die!!! except u kjisskckanakin :) u can do whatever u like with my prose....spread da word...........

After genji left, lucio, mxcree, and hanzo continued their mission. But there was someyhing on lucios mind.

“Mccree.” he spoke.

“Ya?” McCree said.

“i wuz thinking about what u said to genji earlier.............is it true that he has...........a cowboy kink?” he axed.

“Yes” mccree said unemotuinally. they were walking thru the talon hallways which were very long.

“How do you know?” lucio axed suspicuosly.

“Dat’s a secret!” mccree told lucius angruly. “Dont ask me anything else about it.”

“Ok.” luçio said sadly. but he could not stop thinking about genji’s cowboy kink. How would Mccree know about it? Genji had to have let him know in some way. and mccree was a cowboy……...lcucio realized what had really happened. He gasped.

McCree and genji.......................had been dating in the past!

He couldnt let mccree or hanzo kno that he knew about this. Suddenly he and mccree both saw the place they were suposed to put the payload.

“There it is.” mccree said. “let’s take da payload thre and get outta here LOL!”

“Ok.” luco said, still thinking about mccree’s past whit genji. They escorted da payload (it was actually a trap) and began to make their way outside. But on their way they met someone who lookdd dark and athistic. It was..........Reper!

“Reapr what are you doing here!” Mccree snarled touching his tummy protectively.

“I have come to capture lucio….” reper said darkly.

“No! you’ll never take my frog boi!!!” mccree shouted trying to shoot reper”s face with his gun. However, Reaper was indestructible!

“you’ll never take me alive.” Lucio snarled shooting wubbles at Reper’s indestructible face. 

Reaper took lucio in his arms and began to fly away.

“Ahhhhhhh” Lucio screamed.

“Baby no!” Mccree shouted. But it was too late. Lucio..................was gone!

 

\----

 

A few hours later repee finally arrived at his house with Luco. He carried lucio into his room and locked the door.

“You'll never get away whit this.” Lucio told Reaper angrily.

“...I know.” reaper said sadly. “i dont want to torture u or anything. i just want company. I dont want to spend anither night alone. im sick of watching my friends eithr dying or abandoning me to hang out with each other. Please even just for the nighgt....be my friend?” he sobbed.

But it was too late. lucio was already climbing out the window.

Reper would just havw to capture someone else......... Throughout the night he stalked thru the overwatch base. he stole countless members... tracer, who teleported out of his house. zarya who zapped him and punched him and leaped out da window. junccrat, who blew up his bedroom door and then leaped out the window. and everyone else who had ever been involved with overwatch ever except torbjorn, who all ran away thru the big hole in his door.

reaper wuz sicc of it. He was sicc of it all. he sat down alone in his room, right by the foot of his bed and began to sob uncontrolably. Why….why? He had told evryone how lonely he was. how dead his friends were. And they had all rejected him. they had run away thro the darkness when he needed a light in his soul.

Reper suddenly looked up at his wall and saw a bible verse he had christianically put there dhring his days of faith and had not taken down yet.

“ _ Now then, Lord, let me dje. I am better off ded than alive. jonah 4:3” _

“yasss truth.” Reper wept, crying. He was an athist now thouhgh so he took it off the wall and threw it in da trash which was full of bibles and stuff. #Emo

Then he continued crying and wonderinh what culd have been........

 

Meanwhile Mei was in her room in teh overwatch base. She was busy drawing smut but what reaper had said to hrr before kept apearing to her mind.

“I am so lonely.....everyone else ran away...... pleas mei, you’re my last hope........” rer had said more things but she had not heard because she was out the door by then.

still,......it botherd her. she WAS da last person reper had captured. and if she ran away,.................did reper have.........NO ONE AT ALL?

She could not let thus happen. she backflipped out of her windo and ran to reper’s house. 

“Reerper?” she called at the front dood. But nobody came. but it was unlocced so she opened it and ran upstairs 2 reper’s room. looking through the hole in the door. She gasped.

reapr was there on the floor......thoroughly daed!

“Reaper no!!!!” she cried and ran to his ded body. she held him in her arms. and then..................reper opened his eyes.

“mei?” he whispered.

“it’s me baby.” mei roared. “reaprr I thought u were.......dead........”

“i did to. but then i relized...i can't die!” he said sadly. They cried imto each others arms for 2 hours. By then it was 4 am in the morning so mei decided to go bacc home. she began to climb thru the hole in his bedroom door.

“WAIT!” said reper.

“Ya?” said mei turning around to look at him. her eyes shone snd glittered wetly like a sunset ocean. They had ben crying for 2 hours and it showed on her face........Yet reaper had never seen anything more beautiful in that moment. he stepped forwaed and so did mei.

And then....................he kissed her!


	10. captivate me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mccree write a

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyz!!! im backc!!!!!! i didnt update 4 a f ew days b/c idk loL! enjoi :-)

mccree was walking out of wendy’s after a very very fulfilling lunch. he had a diet chocolate milkshake, a wendy’s diet double premium bacon cheeseburger, and large fries. and of course he had also ordered a burger for his baby hanzo as well.

“i have to keep you nourished baby.” he whispered lovingly to his pregnant tummy.

suddenly he saw 2 people walking together and making out at the same time. 1 was tall and the other one was shorter. As they approached him he realized who they were...

it was..............Reaper and mei!

“Reaper what are you doing here!” Mccree said angrily. “Hi mei.”

“Oh just spending the day with my beautiful girlfriend….” rwaper said as he french kissed mei sexily.

“Ehhhhhh???” mccree said like in an anime. “You and mi are dating???”

“yasssssss!” screeched mei smooching her new boyfriend on the lips. “Now get out of the way....my boygfriend and i are going to Wendys.”

Mccree stood in shock. He couldnt believe mei and reper were dating.

Junkrat who was hiding in the bushes was also in shock. And his heart was broken. Because........ He secretly loved reaper!

Mcre noticed his fren in the bushes because the bushes were on fire. “Junkie OMG, get out of there!” he yelped.

“Please dont call me that.” junki said. “I only just put dowm my needle and spoon.”

“Ok.” mccree said touching his tummy and smiling at junkrat whose body was enveloped in fire. “BTW, why are u here?”

But Jinkrat only screeched at mccree and scuttled away on all fours.

“Ok suit yourself.” McCre said. he wondered what hanzo would think of this encounter. He walked home feeling well and pregnant.

As he arrived inside his house he found some papers from earlier on his desk. Ons was a drawing of junkrat but as a sexy girl, and the other was an unfinished poem about torbjorb.

“Yucc!” mccree said as he went over the poem agsin, thinking about how much he hated torbjorn.

 

_ torbjorn, (add words later) _

_ the sight of you makes me tremble and writhe _

_ you smell like a ninty year old rotting coffin… _

_ you look like the man inside! _

 

_ torbjrb antagonist of your own existence ... _

 

Mccree stared at the words on the paper. pretty good. but he still couldnt come up with any good rhymes with coffin! “torbjorn demon from hell within?” good but now it didn't go with the line right after............

after 5 hours of work and rewriting, mccree thought he got it finally. this poem was perfect. “ready hanzo?” he said, prepared to recite his work to his lover.

 

_ “torby, to put it shortly, you're like a dream. _

_ and i wish i could wake up and have made up your existence _

_ you're a nightmare to put it precisely- you're everything short of a sunbeam _

_ reality or not, you are better at a distance. _

 

_ torbjorn, raised from the blood of crying orphans _

_ you’re the reason people die _

_ you smell like a ninety year old rotting coffin-- _

_ you look like the man inside. _ ” 

 

mccree finished his poem. “OMG that was really good. im so talented.” he said. then he got an idea........... “i should show this to everyone at...........the National overwatch Talent ShoW!” he told hanzo excitedly as he began to run to the overwatch base. 

after all..........the talent show was tomorrow! 


	11. opening night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> da national overwatch talent show.......TODAY!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guyxzzzz~ thanx for all ur commentts! :)

it was the day of da talent show and everyone was there except widowmaker and soldier 76 because they were dead. mccree wasx very very nervous. he was going to perform last!!! how nerve-wrracking!!

tracer was up on stage doinf announcements.

“ok everyone u have ur lists.......but im going to announce the partucipants anyway.” she roared into the mic as she waved her paprr  of participants in the air. “First up is....... Widowmaker! Wait.” she crossed something out on her paper. “first up is......zenyatta! He is going to do something pretty cool u guys will love it! then next is winston....he is going to do a dance for us. it will be splendid. Then it’s zarya who will be demonstrating something and she will need a volunteer. Then mei will show us something about science and things. And then torb- mccree is next and he is the last one to perform. he has a poem for us.” she said and walked off the stage.

Then zenayya came out onto the stage. blowing a kiss to winston. “Hello everyone. and welcome to.................. tranquility” he said. Susdenly everyone felt very tranquil exxept for torbjorn who felt discord because he does not deserve anything cool. McCree enjoyed it. it calmed his nerves. everyone clapped as zenyatta walked off the stage.

Then winston came out to the stage. “H there.” he said. “This is a dance I would like to dedicate to scienntists everywhrre and of course my handsome fiance, zenyatta!” everyone clapped for him and zenyara.

“When are u getting married?” Mccree hollered.

“January. Everyone except torbjorn is invited!” winston smiled and everyone except torbjorn cherred. “Ok I will start now.” Then he started doing pirouettes and stuff. Everyone cheered as he finished with one last pirouette. then he walked off stage.......still doing pirouettes! da crowd went wild!

then zarya went up on stage. “I hate omnics” she said.

“Boooo!!!!!!” the crowd screeched at zarya.

“Omnic enablers!!!!!!! One day u will see!!!” she roared and then she was ushered offstage by tracer.

“it looks like zarya will not be performing.” tracer said. “anyway here’s mei!”

mei came on stage and greeted everyone. “ni hao!” she said (dat mean hello in mandarin) “i have..........something GREAT for all of u!” then she showed them........ICE SCULTPURES! LOTS of them! everyone was very amazed at the amazing ice supltes she showed them. in fact there was an ice scuplture of everybody in the audience except torbjorn! it was sooooooo cool!

everyone clapped for mei. and then her part was over and it was mccree’s time.

mccree walked nervously onto stage but he didn’t show it cuz he was cool like that. zenyatta’s tranquility from earlier unfortunately had not lasted up to this. his shake hand held the paper that held his poem.

“howdy everyone.” he said. “this.....is a poem about Torbjjnnon!” everybody gasped. then he read out his poem. there wAS suspense as he finally finished with the last lines.....”you smell like a 900 year old rotting coffin...... and look like da man inside!”

“LMAOOO SAVAGEEE” lucio screeched from the audience as everybody except torbjorn clapped harder than any other performance because it was so tru! mccree smiled at his pregnant tummy as everyone except torbjorn clapped for him.

“i would like to thank my lover, hanzo, for everything ;)” he told them. and the crowd went wild.......

after da show mccree went on twitter and saw that his name was #trending! so he clicked it.....and saw that everyone on twitter was talking about his torbjorn poem. he felt limpid tears come to his eyes as he felt very grateful.

“Hello!” suddenly he heard a voice. he turned around. It was....Lucio!

“Howdy lucio!” Mcre said.

“great poem! I hear its trending on twitter.......” lucio winked as he walked away. and it was then that MccCree knew just who had tweeted about it! classic lucio, da social media king!


	12. da christmas chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chriztmmdaas whit reper ansd mei

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi gydvs merry! da Wintr Update was today so i am posting da chrisymas chaptr now :) enjoi!

it was..........Christmas eve! and everybody except torbjotn was invited to the overwatch christmas party!

Reaper skulked throuhh the shadows with mei. Without her he would have been very lonely with no friends here and he was very glad for her presence! He was also very glad for the presrenrs under the big christmas tree. Leaving Mei at the food table he went ober to see who had any presents for them. He gasped.

Everyone except torbjorn had at least one present.................. even reaper! There was a really big dark looking emo gift there and he examined it. “To: Lil Reapy. From: Tracah!!!

 _WTF?_ thought reaper. TRaCER the blinky fool had gotten a present for him? No...the present wasn't for him. It was for tracer’s idea of him. If she knew what he was really like....that he was just another waste of time.....she wouldn't want anytihing to do whit him!!!

crying a little now he went back to the food table where mei had disappeared. But she had better things to do than waste her timrme with him so he ate a sugary glazed reindeer cooki in silence. Some of his tears dripped onto the cookie and made it taste all salty but he didn't care.

Then he saw mei in the crowd of overwstch members. He watched curiously as she sneaked a black and slightly rectangular gift under the christmas tree..........

Then m.Mei joined him and also had a cookie. Hers was a christmas tree. Howver there were no presents under the cookie tree. But that was ok because the real present was Mei. looking into her eyes reaper knew she was The One.

he thought about his favorite bandm, Death Cab for Cutie. And their wicked song “No Room in Frame” aw yeah what a good song! He also enjoyed their song “No sunlight” and he also loved The Postal Service particularly their songs “Brand New Colony” “Clark Gable” and “Natural Anthem.”

He thought about DeAth cab for Cutie's most famous song “I Will Follow You Into the Dark.” What a great song and no wondrr it was famous! But another thing he thought should be more famous was his beautiful girlfriend mei. He lovingly watched her as she was still eating the christmas tree cookie and conversating with tracah about something. _if there’s no one beside her when her soul embarks…_ he thought _...then I will follow her into the dark._

The next day it was Christmas OMG! Reaper was skulking around as ususl and wondered if he should take his presents and open them in his room, or if he should wait for mei to come. He thought about it some more but something caught his attention. someone was staring at him. turning around quickly he saw that it was.........junkrat!

 _WTF_ reaper thought. He turned and began to fly away but he did not get very far cuz Mccree bumped into him!

“Howdy reaper.... fancy 'bumpinhg’ into u here.” he winked and smiled touching his baby bump. “....merry christmas!”

“Im athist.” Reaper snarled darkly and angrily.

“Ok happy holidays!” Mccree shouted.

“I dont celebrate any holidays!!!” reaper roared.

“Happy winter time!” mccree screeched.

“That sounds like a children's singalong and by the way I am never happy I'm hashtag emo!” reaper snapped darkly.

“Sorry.” mccree said shyly. “But cheer up.....I got u a present!”

“Shut up. You didn't really get me a present you got your idea of me a present. if you knew who i really am you would not want anything to do with me!” reaper cried, taking the present.

“Oh reaper, you are soooo funny! Unlike toblerone.” mccree said darkly.

“Ok I have to agree with u on that.” Reaper agreed. “tobjorn is garbage.”

“You said it partner! Ok I gotta run. I have 5 more presents to deliver.” Mccree winked and ran away.

 _What a weirdo._ reaper thought. Then he saw mei in the distance, picking up something from under the christmas tree! he floated over to her.

“Hi Mei!” he said excitedly.

mei turned around and smiled when she saw him. that smile lit up his heart and soul. “reaper! I was looking for you!” she told him. “Is this your present?” reaper looked at the gift bag in her hands. it was gothic black with icy blue highlights.

“Of course.” he said and kissed mei on the lips. “want to go to my house and open our presents together?”

“Yassss!!” mei roared. Then they went to reaper's hose and held each other in their arms as they opened their presents. Mei opened reaper’s present last. Her orbs shone as she took it out from within the ice blue paper thing that goes in gift bags.

“reaper...baby...” she said. it was a heart made of ice! but this was a special type of ice. she recognized it as a scientific breakthrough, manufactured for drinks and things..... this was a kind of ice that would never melt.

rreper smiled and looked into mei’s eyes. “the day this heart melts.....is the day i stop loving u.” he said smoothly and sexily.

“..,...thank u baby.” she murmured whit tears of joy and love in her eyes. then it wuz time for reaper 2 open mei’s present! he took the gothic black box in his hands. then he opened it. It was........a snow cone, in the shape of a skull!

“OMG thamk u mei!” reppr said joyfully embracing his girlfriend. Then they made out for the rest of the night. this was truly a glorious chfistmas.


	13. the future freaks me out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junkrat's Relaiztion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys i was going to post this chapter tomorrow but then i watched this sexy mchanzo vid so i wanted to share it with all of u today! :) <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TOW21q7rjJw> enjoi! (june 24 edit i have changed the link to the new hd version!!! love u guyz!!! :) )

it was an average day for junkrat. yesterday he had tried to blow himself up whilst giggling maniaxally in a corner of the overwatch base but unfortunately mercy was there to save him. he was still a little saltty about it but what can u do!

he was walking around the overwatch base when he saw reaper and mei.........flirting and making out with each other!!! why.....why would Reaper (the love of his lif) choose dat ice banshee mei? She was worse than torbhorn in his opinion!! He was feeling sad and angry so he decided to follow them around.

Throghout the day reaper and mei made out, held each other in their arms, and frenched kissed each other on the mouth AND cheek! it was disgusting! And more than antthing junknlirat wanted reaper. he wanted to hold him in his arms and say....”hey baby! kiss me!” and then make out with him and it would be really hot!

But as long as his darling was with HER... ...hHe would never get to kiss reper! it made him feel sicc.

It was just like the song that reper liked, “Nothing Better” by the postal servoce. He thought of the lyrics..............

_ Tell me am I right to think that there could be nothing better _

_ than making you my bride and slowly growing old together........ _

_ Well groom. _ junki thought. what a romantic song! But it was weird cuz it was over 73 years old. Suddenly he was snapped out of his thoughts. Reaper and mei..............were staring at him!

“Howdy.” junkratatat said tearfylly, blushing.

“Junjrat? What are u doing here?” mei asked as she made out with realrer.

“Oh nothing.” he said quickly. “just..... enjoying the view!”

“Oh ya.” mei said looking around then. they were in watchpoint gibraltar and the sun was setting making for a very romantic view! Junkrat thought that onnthe day he went out on a date with reaper, it would be here on the cligfside. it would be soooo romantic. he side eyed mei. dat witch! he hated her for stealing his reper away from him.

But he realized it was almoat time for dinner so he turned around to leave. But he looked bacc one time. He saw reeper’s tall, handsome silhouette on the cliff..... and next to it (holding his hand) was mei!

Now feeling angrier than before he started running back to his house. “I have to get rid of mei...but how?” he axed himself. and then he realized. “i...have to kill her!”


	14. my favorite accident

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winston's drug bender

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! guess wat day it is........ that's right. dec 18 my birthday! i wrote this chapter. please comment. im so alone

it was an average day for our boi winston. and 3 weeks before his wedding day whit zenyatat. He was walking around da overwatch base when he realized how much he craved alcohol and drugs. Like he really wanted some alcohol and drugs. And not the casual stuff either. Drugs like cocaine, heroin, or meth. that was what he really longed for on this day.....

So he called his dealer on the telephone. “Hi there sombra.” he said shyly. “want to go out and binge on alcohol and drugz?”

“Ok.” sombra said exitedly. “omw (on my way)!”

“Ok.” said winston “please bring cocaine, meth, and beer.” he hung up and smiled. Today was going to be a good day!

a few minutes later sombra appeared in winston’s house carrying cocaine, meth, and borbon. “hey baby boi.” she said sexily kicking the door to his room open. But not in that way cuz winston was engaged. “I didn’t have any beer but i got bnourbon!”

“Sweet” winston said. They began to start smoking meth and cocaine and cigarettes all at the same time. it was..........sensational!

“Wait” said winston “.......zenyatta my fiance is going 2 be home soon!” he said scaredly as he snorted more coke. “We cant let him kno about dis. Im soooooo addicted to this cocaine. we have to go out somewhere!”

“Ok let’s go to the park.” sombra said. “No one will know us therre.”

“ok.” winston said

so they went to the park and it was very dark and very Dank because of da weed they were smoking too! they were smoking a lot of weed and getting really high. Also they were drunk off bourbon and high on cocaine and meth too.

“i am so high.” sombra said.

“me too” winston said highly. Sdudenly xzenyata caled him on his cellphone just like he used to when he needed his love. “OMG it’s zen what should i do!” he asked sombra frightenely.

“answer.” she said hacking his voice to make him sound not high.

“Ok.” winston said. piccing up the phone. “Hi there.” he told his fiance.

“Winston.......where are u! I sense......discord in ur soul!” zemyatta said worriedly.

“Oh im at the park!” he told zenyatta. “Zenyatta, I was thinking that......I would take some time off.......to medidate on my own. like today. i have been feeling too much discord in my soul so i want to take a trip.....to hawaii!”

“OMG baby!” zenyatta said excitedly. “i was soooooo worried! BUT this is going to be so great for U! I love u baby, have fun in hawwaii. Dont forget....our wedding is in 3 weeks!” he giggled.

 

that same day, it was the same day. and Junkrat had been stalking Mei for like 2 weeks now and had discovered when she was going to be alone. He quickly ran out of his dark unlit house and watched her as dat......DEMON.........kissed his BELOVED one more time and ran out of his beloved’s house. She was going to the park to enjoy some time alone. so he ran ahead of her to chill on a bench unsuspiciously.

As he ran to a bench he noticed sombra and winston vaping weed.  _ WTF? _ he thought. However he paid them no mind as his goal was more important. he hoped they wouldnt mind all da blood. he saw mei approaching da bench and sat down next to him.

“oi gday mat!” he said falsely cherrfully.

“junkrat! ni hao” mei said.

“Sorry i dont speak italian.” junkrat spat.

“U kno what nihao means.......u no good bully!” mei said angrily.

“Sorry” junkrat whimpered suddenly very shamefully. But.....he wasnt actually feelig shameful.  _ why didnt i make the lead role in my high school play........... _ he thought.

He noticed sombra and winston had left by now so he decided to murder mei now.

“mei i have somethibg to show u.” junki said turning to her.

“Oh? Wat is it?” mei axed.

It was a knife! Then jujrat stabbed her and she died.

“Hehehehe.” junkrat giggled leavinb mei on da bench as he skipped away. “I'm glad no one saw dat.” he said.

But... he was wrong! As he skipped away someone gasped in da bushes. They had been watching thr WHOLE time. it was.................D.va!


	15. ststand too close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truth. btw gets a litle sexy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyz guess who is bacc! (it's me) crlebrating........69 kudos! and 2016 viewz! dats the current year!!!  
> checc out this pic i made <https://i.imgur.com/MwzdfU3.gif>

**__**

D.va could not belive whatbshw just saw. had the love of her life JUNKRAT really murdered mei da SCIENTIST? She loved junkrat. it was tru. but this was out of his range. she watched as he skipped away and her heart swelled with unrequited love.

Oh what she would give...... to have him in her arms! to kiss him on the mouth! ever since the time she first saw him she had been wondering how a romantic make out session would taste and she wondered if she would ever get the answer.

but alas. her darling loved reaper. she didnt have anything against reper but REALLY? the EMO? what did jamison see in him!!!!!!!!!!! wtf?!??!??

she ran over to mei’s daed body. she looked thoroughly dead and blody wtf. what would dva do?

and then she thout of something dat was very very heinous. it was snowing a lot and the snow was falling on mei and dva so she left mei there on the bencbh and started runnning back to her house. yas it was all part of her master plan.

When she finally arrived at her house which she named “junkrat’s arms” she ran insid into her basement which she had renovated into a junkrat shrine and workplace.

“All i want for chrisrmas is you.” she whispered lovingly stroking his face on a pic of him she had on da wall. then she got to work. she wrote down important notes and thoughts and love letters and drew sexy fanart of junjrat. it was pretty sexy so she put up the fanart on her wall next to the pic she had toched earlier. seeing da pic she drew turned her ON! sexylicious!

after planning sum more she decided to start playing her junkrat video game “Sexy Junkrat Adventure” which she was programming hrself with unique batrle mechanicz and authentic voicelines recorded by following junkrat around. All her fans knew about it and had already pre orderd it for $16.99. See if u put the 2 middle numbers together it makes 69. even da price was sexy!

Anyway reaper was outsise at tgr park feeling emo and thinking about death when he saw his beaurful gf mei on the bench! “Hahaha babe u are always betiful!” he murmured into her ears softly and sexily. She didn't reply butn reper didn't cere becuz he enjoyed his gf’s company and he was in sexylicious love!

“Mei, baby, u are sexylicious.” repair said dreamly as they watched the sunset. He touched her left boob. bad boy gota make a move! But.........she didn't blush or say anything! he looked at her expressionless face and took his hand off her winter cot. 

“Sorry.” he said depressedly. Maybe she was angry whit him. they sat sadly on the bench together and reaer was sobbing and crying the whole time until 3 am. He was sooooo sad! Mei did not comfort him. meibe she was breaking up whit him?????

“Mei time to go home.” he said as he cried. But mei didnt stand up? she sat on da bench. Reper looked at her and gasped. Mei..................was dead!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dva's plot!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyz i haven't updated....all year! get it? lol leave a COMMENT if u LIkED this chaptr, leave a comment if you HATED this chapter, & leave a comment if you HaTe me and think i shiould DIE!

d.va, who was wearing a pink club penguin gamer suit and jorts with puffles on the butt, shook her head grimly and sadly. Sh  was reading the overwatch newspaper. “Mei Found Dead on Bench” read the headline. Why had her love done this????!!! But she knew why......

Junkrat had killed mei....to get reaer for himself! But of course, she was not going to let that happen. She had a plan......

She ran thru the overwatch base looking for Reper. “Repaper where are u!” she yelled. As she was running she bumped into genji. Haha “bump.” It was funny because genji had a baby bump. she stared at genji and his green club penguin maternity shirt. He was not wearing pants.

“genji you look phat, are you prego? xD” she axed curiously.

“wtf....no?” said genji who was thoroughly shook.

“i have to tell the others” d.va said and ran away. then she bumped into reaper.

ok its the middle of the chapter xD but i have to say mccree is so hot and sexy like omg! brbrbruh if he punched  me in da face or shot me with his gun i would say “thank u mccree, can you please do that again” He is sooooo sexy. OMG what a tiger!!! what a fox!! im not a furry but u could call me a “mccreey” (because i love mccree). he is just too hot wtf! hold me in your arms and never let go Jesse McCree please.

Anyway dva bumped into Reaper. “Reper!” she said. 

“What?” Reaper said crossly, crying. “Can you go away. i am trying to mourn my girlfriend.”

“dat’s the thing reapper.......” she said mysteriously. “.............I know who killed your girlfriend mei!”,

“Wtf? who?” reaper axed.

“Twas the love of my life.........................Junkart!”

“OMFG I’LL KILL HIM!” Rerper roared atheistically because he was an atheist. “Wait.... How do I know u are telling da truth?”

“I saw him.” dva said sadly and grimly. “He is da love mmm of my life.....why would I lie about him?! xDDD” she screamed emotionally. 

“Ok make’s sense.” reper knew all about love so he knew she was telling da truth. “But.....if u love him.....why are you telling me what he has done...” Reper wendered.

“Because he iz in love whit you......” Dva cried softly. “He was going try to ask you out......but....I am going to date him!!!” 

Reapre gasped. “Ok I won't murder him then.” he said sadly.

“Ok thanks. By the way if u are outside at about high noon today and you see junccrat......hide!” Then d.va went bacc to her house. She knew today was da day Jinkrat would try to ask out repee because she had been following him for weeks and knew his planz. He was going to do it at about high noon today and it was 10am so she had to be quicc! Qickly she put on her Reaper cosplay. She looked just like reaper.  Then she went outside.

_ “I wish I could wear a club penguin hoodie right now but I have to be sexy reaprr for junccrat...” _ she thought sadly. Checkibng her watch she saw that it was 11:45 am. OMG junkrat would be here soon. Then she saw him coming to hwer whit hope and love in his eyes. She smiled and walcced over to him.

“H-h-h-h-h-hi repper.” Junkart said to dva. “I w-w-was just thinking.....since u are single now and all......will u go out with me?”

“YASSSSS daddy!!!!” d.va screeched and held him in her arms. then she remembered she had 2 do a voice impression of repper too!!! “I love death.” she said to jnjkrat.

junkrat smirked sexily. “hehe...Repre babe what did u do to ur voice?? It's sexy now.” he growled like a tiger in heat.

“oh nothing...but I’m glad u noticed.” dva whispered. They held each other in their arms for 2 hours. it was 2 pm.

“Hey repper, babe...” junkrat said mysteriously. “meet me at da cliffside tomorrow....at high noon.”

“Ok.” dva giggled darkly, already dreming about the date!


	17. i'm so full of love it deeply sickens me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy Junkrat Adventure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up gyuuys!

Finally it was the day that D.Va would be goign on the sexy date w/ her sexy boyfriend junkrat. She woke up and smiled looking at her alarm clocc that said it was 9 am. 3 hours left 2 go!! still in her junkrat themed pajamas she got up and began to spend the time working on Sexy Junkrat Adventure. It was pretty sexy and she was getting turned on just programming it. In the level she was working on, junkrat was fighting other girls that weren't her, and killing them. It was very bloody and sexy. at 11 she stopped and started to draw more pics of junkrat to hang up on her wall. Even drawing pics of junkrat turned her on sooo much! To her junkrat was the sexiest being alive. She loved his sexy burnt hair tufts like burning hermit crabs clinging to his otherwise bald scalp and his sexy Australian accent and how sexy he was shirtless which was all the time! her ovaries couldn't take much more of this LOL.

At 11:30 she quickly slipped into her reaper cosplay. It was almost high noon! she started to dream about junkrat’s sexy face and sighed morosely, how it would feel to be smooching and making out with it. Just like the title of her favorite song “Make Out Kids” by Motion City Soundtrack. what a sexy and romantic song!

she went outside and met junkrat waiting for her outside her door. “Hi baby.” she smiled and kissed him on the cheek.

“Hi Reaper.” junkrat said kissing her back sensually and blushing. D.Va was reminded that he thought she was reaper but she didnt let it affect her. They walked to the cliffside together holding hands and serenely gazing into each other's eyes.

Then they got there and junkrat had brought lunch so they romantically ate it together. When they were done they sat together on the edge of the cliff.

“I'm so glad I got to experience this high noon w/ u Reaper.” junkrat said sensually looking into dva’s eyes with love.

_ reaper.. _ the name rang in her mind. “Ya...” she said and looked into junkrat’s eyes, but he wasn’t really looking into hers. he thought she was reaper. This love that he looked at her with.................was reaper’s. ............why was she doing this? doubt filled her mind and her kokoro.

then Junkrat wrapped his arms around her and leaned in...for a kiss! Just as his lips were about to make contact with her own she couldnt take it anymore and pushed him away. But since they were sitting on the edge....he got pushed off the cliff! and he was still holding her in his arms so she started to fall too.

“OMG were going to die!” junkrat yelped as they descended down the cliffs of gibraltar. 

_ Omg i’m going to die single! _ d. va realized. she sexily grabbed junkrat’s face and pulled it closer to her reper cosplay mask. They made out one last time before they hit the rocks and died.


	18. mccree and genji

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a surprise xDc enjoi!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whatssstdy up everybody!!! i hVe written this new chapter  
> ....enjoi!

McCree was walking out of mcdonalds after eating 2 McChickens, a milkshake and diet fries. “That filled me right up.” he said to hanzo who smiled warmly.

As he walked he thought he could go for a workout session w/ zarya so he went over to her place and they did splits and stuff. Soon McCree was looking not just pregnant, but as ripped as Zarya. Zarya hersslf was shredded wtf.

“I'm sooo ripped.” mccree said looking at his muscles. “Hey zarya let's go beat people up.”

“Ok.” Zarya roared muscularly.

As they walked around town they saw a young man who looked punchable so they started to beat him up.

“Stop...” the man cried as he wept painfully. Zarya and Mccree realized the man they were beating up............. was actually Genji!

“Genjo what are you doing here?” mccree cried.

“Ow.... please stop.... you'll kill..... my........precious cargo...” genji was crying and holding his stomach.

“What's whit the baby bump genji......” mccree asked cruelly.

“Mccree, I’m pregnant.....” Genji looked into his eyes angrily. “WITH YOUR CHILD!”

“Omfg what?” McCree shouted. “Genji weve been over for months! How.,...-”

“Yes...9 months.....And..........I am about to give birth!” Genji interrupted.

 

\---

 

Meanwhile sombra and winston were having the time of their lives. Sombra was snorting 2 lines of cocaine at a time and winston was getting really wasted. They were in hawaii!

“Pass me the bourbon winston.” sombra winked. Winston took a swig of the bourbon and handed it to her and she finished the whole bottle. She was very tipsy.

Suddenly she had an idea. She looked up from her double cocaine circle. “Winston.” she said... “Have you ever tried heroin??”

“What? I'm so high.” winston said.

“heroin....I kno a few guys......a few places....” sombra winked. “We can get it for cheap... or no $$ at all!” She winked. “Come, winston....”

They went to the back door of the stripclub they were at and somvra knocked on the door.

“what’s da password?” a voice axed.

“Hollyweed.” sombra said. The door opened and they walked inside to see lots of people getting high, smoking cigarettes, and getting tipsy and wasted.

“Oh excellent.” winston said, smiling.as he went to join some people smoking weed in the corner. But sombra stopped him.

“Wait.” she said and smirked... “I'll show you where the good stuff is.”

“Ok.” winston said. She led him to a back room where there were people doing heroin. Grabbing 2 bags she gave one to him.

“Ok let's get out of here and go to our hotel room!” Sombra said. As they walked back they did not make out b/c Winston was engaged and taken but instead smoked weed and vaped. They were extremely high when they got to the hotel room. They sat on somb’ras bed.

“Ok let's shoot this up.” she said rolling up her sleeve. But she was really high because.....she wasn't wearing one! Then she injected the herroin.... and got high. And so did winston.

Suddenly an alarm rang out. “Attention all drug users please come out of your rooms with the drugs.” a voice said. It was...... the police!


	19. bad boyz bad boyz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG CLUB PENGUIN IS ENDING IM SOO DEPRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO WANTS TO PLAY CLUB PENGUIN W/ ME LEAVE A COMMENT IF U WANT TO PLAY 2GETHER! BTW MY OLD PENGUIN FROM 2007 GOT DELETED SO I HAVE TO MAKE A NEW ACC,,,,,,,,,,,,

“omfg hide the heroine!” winston cried out freightenedly.

“Ok.” Somba said as she hacced the heroin and other drugs to become invisible and put them in her pockets. But they stucc out of her pockets cuz she was wraring girl jeans that were skinny and were custom made to show her penguin on the butt.

Then the police came iN! “Nice jeans.” the female officer said. “Where did you get them?”

“H&M.” Sombra smiled.

“Ok.” the police officer said. “I like your penguin.”

“Her name is PsychoChick69!” Sombra roared. “Add me!”

“Wait........You are under arrest!” the police officer said angrily. “We have seen you using heroin and meth! Hand it over......”

“What? we’re completely innocent.” sombra said inocently.

“Then what’s that sticking out of your pockets?”

“Nudes.” sombra said.

“Wtf? Ok, we’re leaving.” the police said and they left.

“Ok winston let’s bring out the heroin!” Sombra roared. They brought out the heroin and began to smoke and inject it, and they also snorted cocaine and crack. They also drank lots of alcohol and smoked cigarettes, and put on Panic! at the disco and listened to songs like Let’s Kill Tonight and Turn off the lights.

“Let’s kill tonight.......kill tonight......show them all you’re not the ordinary type..........” winston and sombra sang along darkly and edgily.

“Omfg Im so #pumped!” sombra cried. “Brendon urie’s voice is sooooo sexy.”

“Ya it’s so sexy, I mean im engaged but omfgg.”

Suyddenly somrbas phone booped. “Wtf is it? im busy.” she snarled picking it up. Then her eyes widened and she gasped.

“Winston,,, omfg.”

“Huh? what?”

“Club penguin....................................is ending!”

“omfg! WE HAVE TO PLAY IT RIGHT NOW!”

They played club penguin whilst getting really wasted and high. PsychoChick69 and SexyScientistBoi went on lots and lots of adventures, with their premium membership they equipped items such as the Tour Guide Hat and premium clothes like sneakers and goth wigs. The played card jitsu and rounded up puffles also they bought more puffles than their iggies had room for and hosted fashion shows and their penguins got drunk w/ other penguins it was a fun time!

They played for over 16 hours. Finally at 4 am sombra had enough, she was done, she was finished. “Ok winston im done.”

“aww I had such a fun time....” winston said. Then...his phone beeped. someoine was calling him! “huh? who is it?” he axed.

“It’s me....zenyatta! Winston how are u, baby! Weddingz on sunday!!” zenyatta giggled. (it was sunday, 1 week before the wedding)“Will u be flying bacc soon?”

“Yasss zenyatta im coming home to u soon babe, in like 2-3 days.” Winston laughed. Then he hung up and snorted more cocaine. “Sombra im so wasted and high.” he said.

“Yasss, same!” sombra giggled. Then they went to sleep.

When sombra woke up, she went to wake up winston too. But winston did not wake up. Winston had died...........................................of heroin overdose!


	20. Autographs anD Apologies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ Me (anonymous commenter) thank u :-) enjoi da chapter!

“OMFG! I cna’t believe winston is McFreaking dead.” sombra yelled out and sobbed violently. She reached into the pocket of her $39.98 custom made skinny jeans from H&M and pulled out her phone and dialed Mercy.

“Mercy...............” she sobbed.

“Huh? what is it?” mercy axed confusedly.

“Winston...............is dead.” Sombra sead.

“Wtf, what?? Isnt he getting married to zenyatata... in....6 days?!?!?”

“Not anymore.” sombra wept. “Omfg, im so hungover.”

“Omg...” mervy said on the other end.. “Dont tell me...you went skinny dipping while u were drunk....and winston drowned in the ocenan....”

“Dat’s...exactly what happened!” sombra lied quickly and guiltily. She felt really bad for lying to mercy but she had to do it or else winstons death would be in shame!

“Sombra...” Mercy was sobbing and crying. “Fly back as soon as u can...We...we have to tell zenyatat.”

“Ok,” sombra said, already booking a ticket as her tears fell onto her laptop screen.

 

Later that day, Sombra had flown back to the overwatch base w/ winston’s body (she had hacked him onboard) and she sneaked to Mercy’s house, where they were debating how to tell zenyatta the news.

“We shuold do it professionally and quickly. I am a doctor so I know this. I mean not that anyone has died in my care....haha” mercy said.

“No, I shoudld hack the information into him. he’s an omnic...so he will think it’s his hidden omnic intuition giving him a terrible feeling that he knows exactly whats happened...still believing its for nothing he goes to call winston... then we knock on the door to his home, knocking down all his doubts and hopes simultaneously, and shattering the door to his heart.....-”

“Wtf?”

“sorry. Ok let’s go with your idea. haha.” sombra said.

Then they started on their journey to Zenyatta's house. When they got there they rang the doorbell, and zenyatta opened immediately.

“mercy and sombra, what a surprise! hello there! =)” he said. “is winston with u? im excited to see him...” he giggled.

“yea zenyatta...about that...-” sombra began but then mercy interrupted.

“Zenyatta.” Mercy said.

“Ya?” zenyatta said looking worried.

“Winston...has died.” she whispered.

Zenyatta gasped. “What...no..........this cannot be................,,,................” 

“....I’m sorry zen...” sombra murmured looking into his eyes and making eye contact. But he looked away.

“What....what happened, sombra?” he axed as he did not cry because he did not have tear ducts.

“It was last night..... and we were swimming......” sombra lied, weeping. “And.......he drowned!”

“NOOOOOOOO!!!!” zenyatta said emotionally.

“We're very sorry zenyatta.” mercy said.

“Our wedding.... it would have been on sunday.....” zen whimpered. “im literally shaking right now. I...i have 2 go.” He got on his legs and ran upstairs.

Mercy and sombra watched him, then closed the door depressedly.

“Porbecito zenyatta....” sombra sighed. “.....how could i ever tell him the truth?”

“Sombra.....” mercy put her hand on somboob's should er and looked into her eyes. “what is the truth?”

“...I cant tell you.” sombra whispered. “....not right now....im sorry, mercy.........” then she turned invisible and ran away into the night, leaving mercy alone w/o a ride home :/


	21. çhåptér twëñty øñê pîløts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new character :3c

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanx DiggafDink for ur comment xD enjoi the new chapter!

Mccree and zarya were rushing to the hospital. Genji was about to give birth to his and mccree’s child!

“Nurse where is he? where... is genji?” mccree roared to the nurse.

“He's in room 420 sir. He is giving bith right nwo so wait outside until the doctor says u can come in.” the nurse said.

“Haha. Room 420. Blaze it” Mccree laughed. “Ok thanks.” Then he and Zarya made their way to room 420 and waited outside. Then Mercy came out and told them they could come in, then they opened the door. They gasped.

Genji was in a hospital bed and he was holding a fresh baby in his arms. he was looking at it whit love in his gaze. suddenly the baby looked up at him.

“I will die for the honor of the Shimadas.” the baby said. Genji laughed and dabbed.

“Just like his father” he said.

“Genji.......” McCree whispered and ran to his bed. Genji looked up at him. Little did he know that genji still loved him.... “He's beautiful.” Mccree said.

“half of us is in him...” genji whispered and let him hold the baby.

“Have u named him?” zarya axed, admiring the baby.

“Actually yes....just now...” genji said. “His name...... is genjee.”

“dat’s a beautiful name........” Zarya whispered, crying onto the bed. She ran out of the room crying.

Lots of members of obmverwatch except rorbjorn came in to see the baby. Tracer, symmetra, roadhog, lucio, pharah, ana, bastion, and reinhardt all visited. The rest who were alive were doing other stuff such as mourning. But eventually reaper, sombra, and zenyata came in to visit, all at once.

Reaper approached the bed darkly. “Is this it? Is this.....Genjee?”

Genji smiled holding his baby in his arms. “Yes, his name is Genjee... Genjee Shimada” 

Suddenly Genjee woke up. He stared hard at reaper. “I could cut through your skin’s tender meat with no effort.” he said. Genji laughed and dabbed again.

“WTF” reper roared, looking at the newborn baby in fear. “Omg. omfg. What?!!?? Omg” he started to dial mercy on her cellphone.

“What is it?” mercy snapped annoyedly. “I'm in da middle of a brain surgery, wtf do you want treaper?”

“Genjee is talking to me, please come to the hospital.” reaper whimpered.

“What? genji is talking to you?”

“No, Genjee.”

“Freak off.” mercy said and hung up. 

“Ugh whatever, im going to starbucks. Bye guys.” Reaper walked out of da room.

Then Zenyatta and sombruh came up to the bed. “He is a very handsome baby, he is going to break hearts one day.” zenyatta said.

“Ya.” sombra agreed.

Later Genji, genjee, sombra, and zenyatta were out of the hospital getting ice cream and also burgers. Genjee had a katana and was slicing the burgers in half. He gave one to his father.

“Thank you Genjee.” Genji laughed and smiled. Sombra and senyatta were a little frraked out by Genjee's behavior but they didnt say anything.

suddenly a familiar voice spoke. “Oh hello there! didn't mean to bump into you....” They turned around and gasped. It was Ana!

She was eating filipinos. “I freaking love filipinos!” she roared. shoving them into her mouth at the speed of light, quickly finishing the package, then pulling a new one from her pockets and finishing yhat one. it was fascinating to watch.

“Ana?” genji axed. Suddenly genjee ninja jumped from his arms into ana’s, spilling a few philippinos unto thy ground.

“Grandmother.” Genjee said to ana.

“Huh?” then Ana looked at Pharah who was over there eating spaghetti. “Not yet.” she smiled.

“Mom stop embarrassing me.” pharah screechedi. “They kicked me off farmersonly.com b/c im apparently not a farmer. now I have to go on tinder and okcupid.”

“Good lucc, if i see any handsome young men i will be sure to give them your number!” Anna smiled.

“Mommmmm” pharah roared. “Ok whatever...” Suddenly her phone dinged. It was an alert................. from tinder!


	22. valentnene's day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ALL!!!!!!!!! IF ANYONE WANTS TO DATE ME IM SINGLE.  
> BTW EVERYONE!!!! JUSTIN PIERRE, THE LEAD SINGER OF MOTION CITY SOUNDTRACK, HAS PUT OUT A NEW SONG............ ITS SOOOOOOO GOOD......LISTEN TO IT HERE  
> <https://therapturetwins.bandcamp.com/releases>

Pharah gasped as she went to Tinder and saw just who had messaged her. It was............. a handsome and hot young man!

“Omfg what a hotti!” pharah said excitedly already texting back and sending heart emojis. Soon she had given him hr location and he was there already. He stepped into the starbucks.

It was..............Jesse Mack johnson! (motion city soundtrack)

“Hi Jesse.” Pharah smiled.

“Hi beautiful.” Jesse said and sat down at her table. Then McCree walked in and sat down at their table too.

“Jesse.” Pharah said to MCree angrily. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm sorry. should i leave?” jesse mack johnson axed.

“No not you Jesse.” 

“Huh?” mccree said.

Pharah turned to Jesse Mack Johnson. “Jesse tell me about yourself. Is it true you're turning 100 next year?” she axed

“no actually Im immortal.” Jesse Mack johnson told her. And it was true because he was looking young and spry as ever.

“Wtf? I’m only 37” mccree said angrily.

“JESSE GET OUT OF HERE” pharah screeche.

“......ok........”Jesse Mack Johnson whimpered as he left the starbucks.

“Look what you've done.” Mccree said. “Happy valentine’s day pharah.” he said and got up and left the starbucks.

“omg.” pharah said, crying into her expresso.

 

Later Pharah was talking about it with mercy. “I can’t believe jese would just do that to me.” she sobbed. “He knows how important my love life is.”

“Shhh baby its ok.” mercy said. “Maybe dating GUYS isnt working for you....” she winked.

Pharah gapsed. “Are u saying......i should date.......GIRKLS?”

“Yes pharah.” mercy said. “I know a ton of ladies, in OUR area, who are hot and single!” she winked and showed Phara an ad on her laptop.

**_OVER 10,000 SEXY ASIAN GIRLS ARE DESPERATE FOR YOUR LOVE!_ **

“Huh? OMG. that’s so many!  I can’t date all of them at once.” pharah mourned.

“Dat’s ok.” mercy smiled. she clicked the ad and it brought her to a page asking for her credit card info and social security number. She typed them in and clicked submit. “There.” she said. “You should be seeing over 10,000 sexy girls coming at your door in no time.”

“Thanks mercy.” pharah wept.

  
The next day pharah was in her home, feeling single and excited. She was ready to mingle!  then her doorbell rang and she ran and opened the door. There was a sexy hot woman, around 10 years younger than her (Pharah was 31).

“Huh? I want sexy girls around my age range. sorry.” pharah said closing the door. It happened like 50 more times until she was done and stopped opening the donor. She called mercy on her cellphone.

“Mercy!!! All these sexy girls are like, 20-26 i want women my age.” she roared into the telephone.

“Noted.” mercy said, winking (but pharah didnt know that) and going on the internet again. “OK I contacted a sexy woman your age and she said she’s on her way.”

“Cool, thanx mercy.” Pharah said hanging up. The doorbell ringed immediately and she ran over. It was a sexy woman who looked her age!   
“OMFG you are sexy, will you be my girlfriend?” pharah axed her.

“Okie.” the woman said. “I think you’re sexy too. My name’s Courtney. :)” Then pharah kissed her..........and she kissed back. They held each other in their arms for a few hours then they listened to The Rapture Twins’ new relase “Would You Kindly?” together and sang along.

“Ugh I love this song.” Pharah said.

“Not as much as I love u.” courtney said. Pharah blushed. Then.......they kissed!

The day after that they went out for breakfast and had pancakes together. They also kissed and made out in public. Then they smoked weed outside in an abandoned blockbuster parkinglot but also told stories about their childhood. They lived. they loved. they laughed.

After they went back to pharah’s place Courtney told her to wait because...she had a surprise! Pharah waited on the sofa. Soon courtney came back holding something behind her back. Then she showed pharah what she was hiding. 

Pharah gasped. They were.......... Death Cab for Cutie concert tickets!


	23. Tiny Vesselz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pharah, Courtneu, and Reper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi gyzz!!!! Many thanx 2 NekkedSnek aka tony for commenting xD i love u all! thx 4 reading!nn Hope u enjoy this chapter ;)  
> P.s. more fanworks like fanart may b on da way! from me of course! plz suggest what 2 draw and i night take ur sggestion! :)

The day of the concert, Phah and corytney arrived there 8 hours before it was going to start because they wanted a good view. (a good view of Ben Gibbard’s ssexy face)

They brought their DSis and were talking to each otehr on pictochat as they walked, while also making out with each other. Suddenly....they both bumped into someone who was tall, dark, and handsome. They looked up. It was.,.....................repper!

“Reaper what are you doing here?” pharah axed angrily as she kissed courtney another passionate, sensual time.

Reaprer turned around and gasped. “Pharah you have  agirlfriend?” he said.

“No, pharah is my good friend.” Courtney said and smiled at reaper. She kissed pharah again. But pharah was troubled and shook...........did courtney really mean it? But she didn’t have any more time to worry because da concert was starting!

“ _ This is da moment......dat u kno.....that you told her that you love her but you dont.....”  _ ben gibbard sang sexily as he came on stage and thrw his guitar on the ground. But then he picked it back up again and kept playing! Da crowd went wild!

“Omfg i love this song!!!!!!!” pharah screeched to courtney who was silently jamming. xD

Reaper was also having a good time and singing along to the various songs. He had 2 glowsticks (1 was originally mei’s) but since she was dead he was carrying them both, and also crying because he was remembering mei. 

After the concert was over (it was 3 hours) Reaper said goodbye to pharah and her gf and left to try to get ben gibbard’s autograph, photograph, and words of wisdom, and also mourn mei. Pharah and her gf went home and started to make out and they did that for the rest of the day.

Meanwhile reaper had finished, and had gotten an autograph from Ben Gibbard!!!! Yass!! He was so happy! But when he visited meis grave he wasn't. :/

“I miss you.” he sobbed as he fell to his knees and clutched the cold soil beneath him. just like the blink 182 song. As he cried he thought of “Transatlanticism” by death cab for cutie, which.was the last sonf they had performed at the concert.

_ “I need u so much closer... _ .......”

He cried alot more, remembering ben:s luscious voice in harmony with not only guitar but drums as well, and his tears dripped slowly onto the soil beneath him.  _ Just 1 more day.....one more day with you.... _ he thot.

Suddenly he heard a voice.

“Reaper???” It was...............................mercy!


	24. fell in love without you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guyZ and welcome bacc yo hanzos vore daddy: rebirth. Tel me that ur alright!  
> btw sorry for da short chaptrrs i wil try 2 mak the next 1 longer!

“Mercy? what are u doing here?” reapr axed. as he cried his tears dripped into the soil of mei’s grave.

“I came.....to visit mei” she stated. then she stood beside reaper. crying as well.

They cried for 4 hours straight, holding each other in their arms. and wishing it wasnt this way. But then.......

“Wait!! OMG.” mercy roared.

“Huh?what?” reper said in confusion.

“HEROZ NEVA DIE....” mercy yelled.

Suddenly mei was alive and standing in front of them. “Mercy?? R-r-r-reaper????” she whispered. 

Reapr gasped. “mei.......baby.........,,,, you're alive......,..” he murmured. He ran forward and took mei in his arms. but mei pulled away.

“Reaper..........baby...” she said.

“Mei” reaper said, heartbroken. “do...do u still love me?”

“Reaper..” mei looked at him with tears in her eyes. “......i have 2 go.” she said and ran away to her house, crying.

At mei’s house she was feeling strange....because...she had been ded! ....But now she wasnt! She locked the front door and ran inside to her room and got on her computer and watched the music video to “Disappear” by Motion City Soundtrack.

_ “I can diapper.....anytime I want to. _

_ time I feel u shovel through my skin. _

_ I am with u til the end.....” _

She loved this song!!! it was not only cool but also epic as well. She loved Motion City Soundtrack and they were a great band despite the lead singer and all the other band members being ded b/c the year was 2076 and the lead singer would have been 100 sooo probably ded by then. :/. Unless a christmas miracle were to intervene....

A Christmas moiracle........just like HOW she had been resurrected by MERCY. Was this ment to happen???? but....was her DEATH meant to happen? Alone and thinking about it she cried alone.

Suddenly she heard that her front door opened. Adn the one who had opened it........was reaper.

“mei? babe? are u here?” he called out, sobbing and crying. Reper the man who was her boyfriend, surely he could comfort Mei in her tkme of need!!!

“Im here....in my room.....” she said in an emo way. Reeper ran upstairs and into her room, and opened the door. Mei looked up from her laptop into his eyes. And she felt nothing.

“Mei...” Reper said darkly yet emotinally. he stepped closer. “...I missed u so much.”

“I missed u too reaper.” mei said waiting for the spark of love to form between them like it had before she died. Suddenly reaper started crying again and held her in his shadowy, loving arms.

“I'll always lpve you....even thru death” he whispered.

“Reaper.......i love u too.......” mei murmured. But she was lying. ****

 


	25. L.G. FUAD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im bacc guyz! sory for the absence i was working on this a lot tho! xP enjoi!

At zenyata’s house, he was crying. VERY hard. (originally he would not be able to cry but he had axed symmetra to install tear ducts inside his eyes) he was crying because... it was the day he and winston were supposed to get married. but now they could not get married bc winston was ded.

“Why....why?” he sobbed. He missed winston so muc. He was never coming bac..k....

Suddenly he realized he was listening to Time Turned Fragile byy Motion city Soundtrack.

_“One day I’ll fail to breathe_  
 _and all you’ll have are memories._  
 _(All we are are memories)”_ Justin Pierre sang in his amazing, sexy voice.

And it was tru.........All zenyatta and winsten were now............were memores. And they could nebver make any more. He cried harder.

In front of zenyyatta were 5 bottles of alcohol and 5 bags full of weed. He had bought them from Sombra (she said she didnt need them anymore) He was redy. He was going to take the alcohol and drugs to escape from the pain.

“drink 2 forget.” he announced to no one while he sobbed. Then he lifted the bottle high. It was full of vodka. He had never done this before so he was anxious and kind of exited. Crying, he took a sip. Then.....he drank the whole bottle! He felt da alcohol go through his system and he felt excited again. Then he took the weed and smoked a whole bag of it really quickly before he would become super drunk. What would it be like???

But.... he did not feel anything. Wat?? He felt.....completely normal! (as normal as it getz xD)

Feeling scard now he went on the internet and typed in “help alcohol is not making me durnk!” into gogle. Suddenly he saw the search results. And they reavealed....that alohol OR drugs did not affect monicsd!

“omfg. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” zenyatta cried. the drugs and alcohol had been very expensive at $600 per bottle and $100 a bag of weed. Now how was he going to get the funds for his mcdonalds tonight.

He checked his omnic pockets (they were built into his body). only $8. he could not even get a $34.50 big mac. only the tiny fries which were $6.90. he sadly made his way to mcdonalds and ate the 2 french cries that came in da little pavket.

Suddenly he saw a familiar cowboy sitting there in the table next to him.

“Hi mccree.” he said shyly, noticing that mccree had 2 big macs and a McChicken with him. He was eating the big mac.

Mccree turned to see him. “Howdy zenyatta!” he said like a cowboy. becauee.....he was a cowboy! “omfg. are u just eating.... the $6.90 tiny friends for diner?”

“Yes.” zen mourned.

“No! sit at my tanle...ill get u something to eat....My fren” mccree said and cut thru the line to buy zenyatta a Jumbo coke and big boy sized french fries, which cost $15. he also bought 2 big macs which cost him $69. “LOL.” he said thinking about the price of the big macs.

“Huh? whats so funny?” axed the cashier.

“. it's an inside joke. you wouldn't understand.” mccree chuckled softly

“I wish i could be part of an inside joke someday.” the cashier said sadly.

When he got back he gave the food to zenyatta.

“YATTA!” zenyatta said. that means “yay” in japanes!

“yatta, zenyatta” mccree chuckled. Suddenly zenyatta began to cry. “why are you crying?” he axed. as he began to cry himself.

“Oh... mccree...i...i miss winston soooo much.” zenyatta said.

Mccree put his arms around him. “No homo.” he said quickly. Then he said”dats ok to miss him. Im sure he misses you 2. yee haw.”

“R-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-relly?” zenyatta wondered as he took a bite of his big mac and a sip of his jumbo coke. “I wish this was pepsi.”

“Yes.” Mccree smiled, eating one of zrnyatta’s french fries.

“Mccree why did you do that?” zenyatta axed in horror.

“Im a hungry boy... and so is my hungry boy!” He said with a smile and showed zenyatta his 7 months pregnant tummy.

“O. Hahaha!” zenyatta laughed.

After they were done eating, zenyatta and macree went outside to look at the stars. No homo but it was relly nice. After that they went home because it was 1 am and mccree had to get up early to do pushups with zarya at 8am tomorrow.


	26. miracles of science

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omfg guys it's bEn sooooo long!!!!!; sorry boyz& gurus lxD. dis 1 is short but ill work on making longer chaiprs lol enjoi!

It had been 1 week since mei had retreated from reaper and hidden herslf from the world. And 1 week since she had been resurrected by mercy. She sighed. she was in her scientiests lair feeling depressed.

Suddenly the door opened. It was the mailman!

“special delovery for may” the mail man said.

“ok” mei said taking the package. Inside it were cookies and chocolate with a love note from reaper. how thoughtful....... but deep inside her she felt repulsion. she did NOT want these! She gave da box back to the mailman. “Feed your family.” she told him.

“dont have one” the mailman said.

“Wtf?” mei said. She took a pece of paper and wrote down the address of the Overwatch headqurters. “here, there is a large family who will take you in.” she said. then she gave the paper to the mailman who put it in hos pocket.

“Thanks.” he said and walked away.

“Another onw leaves me.” mei said sadly watching him go. She went back inside her meth lab and began to cry. she wished she was DEAD! (again) Just like the My Chemical Romance song:

_ And if your heart stops beating _

I don't know the rest of th words sorry. Anyway she wuz crying. VERY hard. Why.....why didn't she love reaper anymore??? She couldn't tell him. it would break his heart....and she could nebver do dat to him. suddenly an idea came to her. Yes.....it was perfect.......she would use her scientific genius to create...................................................................................a love potion!!!! Then, she would use it on herself and fall in love with reaper again.

As the idea festered in her mind more and more it seemed like a really good idea. So then she began work.....


	27. Secrets Reveal ed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg guys im so excited 2 post this chapter!!!!!!! xD this is where some things start happening! enjoi!

pharah smiled and sighed contentedly. She wuz in sexylicious love with her girlfriend, courtney! and today, 1 week after the concert, she had brought her....a gift! It was a self portrait that was mostly “normal” except for her eyes which were red and crying blood. It was a commission by Leonardo da Vinci. Yes....she had time traveled back in time just to get a painting done for her gf! dats how strong and beautiful their love was.

As courtney walked thru their front door from work pharah gazed loveingly into her eye’s. “Honey.” she whispered smoothly. “Babe I got u something!”

“Huh? what did u get me?” courtney axed. Phrah ran over to her gf and kissed her on the lips. They made out for 10 seconds until they stopped and then pharah took out the painting. Courtney gasped.

“Pharah...this is great.” she said gladly. But behind her voice. she seemed.... burdened. pharah wondered what her gf was thinking about, then she looked into her eyes. There were TEARS in them.

“babe? why...are u crying?” she axed nervously. Courtney looked away.

“i need 2 be alone....” she said and ran into their bedroom. Woryr plagued pharahs soul like creeping trepidation.

That night ,at about 11pm, she came into their bedroom. Courtnry was sitting on the bed.

“Pharah we need to talk.” she said quitly.

“huh? w-w-what do we need to talk about?” pharah axed nerviously.

“Im breaking up with you.” Couryney shouted.

“Omfg!” Pharah cried. “Why??? T~T”

“Because.......im in the mafia!” courtney revealed, crying quetly.. “Im moving out by tonight.  i have things 2 do.”

“Omfg.” pharah said as she sobbed. She ran out of the room crying.

“Finally im alone.” courtney grinned. She whipped out her celephone and dialed someone. and then... they picked up!

“Courtney? is it u? Have you completed your mission?” the person on the other end axed mysteriously. It wss a deep male voice that sounded very threatening.

“Of corpse. phase 1 of the mission is complete, daddy” courtnry said.

“Dont call me that!!! U know my heart belongs to someone else.” he said angrily.

“Oh of course.” she said. “Sorry, im listening to The Brobecks and Dallon Weekes’s voice is soo sexy that i could not resist saying daddy!”  (She was listening to “I Will, Tonight”)

“Oh I understand.” the man on the other end smiled but courtney could not see. “Dallon Weekes has the voice of an incredibly smooth angel........ from. heaven.” he said

“You are entirely right” she said. She hung up and finished listening to the somg, then she took.her mafia gun from under her pillow and walked out of pharah”s apartment. Her target, the one she was looking for, had to be around here. Suddenly she saw it. The big red balls alerted her to its presence. it was the local Target!

But it wasn't her target. So she kept looking around the city. As she was walking around and being distracted, she bumped into someone.

“Wtf? where you going? I have a gun.” she said angrily, then looked up to see that she had bumped into someone who was very handsome, with vigorous hair and beautiful eyes that had gorgeous eyelashes without needing any makeup.he was shorter than her.

“Oh no! dont shoot!” he laughed, beautifully. “Wait do u really have a gun?”

“No” she said innocently yet seductively.

“Ok!” he smiled. “it's always nice 2 meet a new friend! Call me sometime.” he said, giving her his number. “Bye! I gotta go to a concert!” 

Courtney stared after him as he left elegantly. And she knew it. this......was her target!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> p.s. this is the painting phrah gave to courtmey XD <http://i.imgur.com/T2IqINt.png>


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everybody! hope u enjoi this chapter!!! xD lol  
> To Renhiac: i love u so much. thank u for your comment. i would die for you  
> P.S.some1 did a dramatic reading of da prequel 2 this fic.... "[hazo's vore daddy](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8555251)"! listen to it [herr](https://m.soundcloud.com/uglypairofjorts/hanzos-vore-daddy)... :-)

dat night, at about 11 pm, courtney walked into pharah’s home. she still had the key. “awhhhh” she yawned sensuously. Time 2 crash!

Suddenly pharah came into the room. “Omfg who is that?? I have a noose and j am not afraid to publicly execute you!!!” she yelled. Then.... she saw who it was. “C-c-c-c-courtney?” she whispered.

“Hi pharah.” couryney said.

“Wtf are you doing here? You broke up with me and u said you were moving out by tonight..... you r in the mafia!!” pharah sobbed.

“Oh. Well can i stay here for da night?” courtney axed.

“No.” pharah roared.

“Ok.” Courtney Said sadly and began to walk away. As she opened the front door, she looked back at pharah one last time. in a different life they could have been together. but this was their current life so that didnt matter at all. Then she realized that “Last Night” by mcs (motion city soundtrack,) was playing in pharah’s record player.

 _“This isn't working out for you and me_  
_The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend._  
_This is goodbye, this is the end”_

courtney cried quietly as she left pharah’s apartment for da last time. She closed the door. Omg it was cold. Where would she stay for the night??? Suddenly an idea came to her. She took out her celephone and dialed the number that the person she met earlier had given her. He picked up immediately.

“This is Lúcio!!! who is this?” he said, whit joy in his voice. In the background she could hear nightcore trap dubstep playing.

“Luciø? is dat your name? it's me.... the lady who bumped into u earlier today!”

“Omg hi! how are u?? ^_^”

“not good........i have nowhere 2 stay.........” she said emotionally.

“WAT??? No i cant let this happen! come 2 my place, courtmey....i will take u in!!” Lucio screeched.

“Omfg really?” courney axed.. But really she had been expecting it. Yes... dat was the kind of person that Courtney was. Luco gave her his address and she travelled throg the sitty. When she arrived she greeted rhe beautiful dj with a hug and a hand shake. “its good to see u.” she said.

“It's good to c u 2!” Lucio sjouted. “come in..” as courtney walked inside, the nightcore trap dubstep became louder and louder. it felt like she was feeling the vibrations through the entire room instead of hearing it.

 _wtf?_ she thought. “What is this music?” she yelled to luciom.

“What?” axed lucio.

“What is this music called.” coutney screeched.

“what?” lucio axed. Courtney ram over to the radio that had his iPhone 56 plugged into it and turned the volume from 600 to 10. Then she saw on his iphone 56 screen that it was called “skrillex”.

“intresting.” courtmey said. she furned to luci. “U like skrillex? me too” she sAid (she was lying).

“Huh? what?” lucio said. He had headphones on now. Courtney went over to him and took the headphones off. She looked him in the eye and decided to begin phase 2 of the mission.

“Luvïo.” she said seriously. lucio looked into her eyes and saw the eyez of a hardned war criminal.

“???” he said.

“, it's tine u knew.......da truth.” she murmured softly. “I.....am in the mafia!”

“OMG” lucio shouted.

“Yes. and......., the reason i found you in the city and came to your home is because you are actually a descendant of the highest most respected member of the mafia. It's time to take back your place. we have a mission for you.” she told him.

“wat if i don't want to be in da mafia?” lucio said. Coutney pointed her gun at him. “OMG U really do have a gun! ok i will do this for you! what do u need me 2 do?”

courtbey put her gun back into its gun holder. “The mission is very simple. Assassination. Yuo have to kill..................umm.........” she took out her phone and started scrolling through texts. “Ok” she said when she was done. “your mission is to assassinate....................Hanzo Shimada!”

Lucio gasped.


	29. WELCOME TO THE BLACK PARADE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> GIVE MERCY PLAY OF THE SAME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANORHER CHAPTER 4 MY FANS!!! & MY HATERS!!! KEEP READING DA STORY IS JUST BEGINNING!  
> btw yesterday was Gerard Way(My Chemical Romance)'s birthday;! april 9!! 2017 :) hes 40 now lol grandpa
> 
> BTW THANX EVERBODY FOR 4K HITZ!!!!!!

Lucio and mccree were walkign together in da city. Lucio was feelng worried and mccree was feeling pregonate.  _ I have 2 assassinate hanzo...but...to do that I will have to assassinate Jesse McCree too! _ _ can i rlly do this....?!?!..........:// _ he wondered.

Suddenly something caught his eye! It was a parade going down da street. they were playing screamo music and heavy death metal.

“Wat is that?” he windored.

Suddenly a person from the parade went up to him. Up close lucio finally got to see what they were wearing in detail. The uniform looked like a less hot and sexy version of what My Chemical Romance wore in the muisic video of welcome to the blacc parade. (Not that lucio knew that. He was a skrillex fan)

The person was waving a sing in front of his face that read “JUSTICE FOR MERCY OVERWATCH” and they looked really angry. “WE WILL NOT REST UNTIL THIS BLOODY FIGHT IS OVER.” they yelled, crying.

“wat?” mccree axed.

“Watch this video...” the person said. He took out his ipad and showed lucio and mccree a video. It was of junkrat getting p of da g. Lucio shed 1 tear remembering his ded frend, but he kept watching. In the video junki used his ult and killed 3 civilans but then mercy came and resurrected all of them and shot juncrat to death with her pistol right after.

“WHY didnt MERCY get potg???? that’s literally the worst thing ive ever seen in my life. omfg.” luco screeched as he was crying. Mccree was crying too, (no homo). He turned to lucico.

“Lucio omfg we have 2 join this parade! we have to fight for wat is right!” he shuoted. “Justice aint gonna dospence iself......” he shook his ghead and grimeaced.

“I agree.” lucio said worriedly. He hoped courtney wouldnt mind if he waited b4 he assasinated mccree. At da same time he wuz not looccing forward to it.

They obtained the official protest parade inofroosms and began to march angrily and emotionally. Along the way they met genji and genjee.

“Hi genji, whats up?” lucio said cheerfully. even tho inside he wuz feeling dread and trepidation for wat he was going 2 have to do.........

“nm lol.” genji said. he picked up genjee and showed him to lucio and mccree. “Genjee has been growing very fast AND he makes top grazes in his ninja classes! i am sooo proud! genjee say hi to ur father!” Mccree smiled at genjis words.

“And isn't this exactly where you'd like me

I'm exactly where you'd like me, you know

Praying for love in a lap dance and paying in naivety.” genjee said to mccree, who was crying because he was so proud of his and genji’s son.

“Im so proud, my little guy.” mccree wept. “u have been raising him well genji!” 

“Thanks.” genji blushed....“but sometimes i feel like genjee needs more than 1 parent in his life......” he said looking at macree.

“ur right.” sexy coeboi said. “but...u are such a good and luving parent, grnji! Genhee has all he needs with u as his father!” he gigglef.

“O....right.” genji said sadly.

“Ok bye,lucio and i r going to keep protedmdting.” mccrwe smiled at genji and walked back to the parade with lucio. While genji and mccree were taking, lucii had made signs for both of them that read “GIVE MERCY PLAY IF THE GAME” and “HIGH REZ NO HIGHLIGHT” and they protested with the rest of the parade for the rest of the day.

meanwhile.... in a dark room, someone was watching a camera feed of McCree and lucio on ther laptop. It was..................Courney! “SOON” she yelled slammging her firsts on the keboard. she was relly anxious for lucio to kill hanjo soon so dat she would get a raise from the mafia godfatherm.

Suddenly she got a phonecall. “What is your progress in the mision?” a dark and murky male voice said.

“Heh......phase 2 is complete. The target is now hunting down Hanzo Shimada. soon..... he will kill him.” courtney smirked.

“Good.” the man chuckled darkly.


	30. dark awakening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N hapy homestuck day every1! im not a homestuck but i have friends who are homestucks

mercy was sitting at mcdinalds with mccree and hanso, reading the news. 

“wtf?” she said

“what?” mccree axed.

mercy shook her head disappointedly as she took a bite of her vegan diet fries. “There have been violent riots @ the overwatch HQ..... ppl said they want justice. what kind of world do we live in, SMH!” she said.

“oh , that sounds horrible. who would do that? yeehaw” mccree said sweatily.

“I kno.” mercy agreed.

As they finished ther meals and walked out of mcdonsds together, they decided to go to wdowmakwr’s house to gather her belongings. When they arrived they opened the door to find it was looking normal....and dusty.The walls were covered in bible quores, hymns, and prayers. in her bedroom was only her her computer nexr 2 her bed and a makeup table with a mirror.

“SWEET” mercy said takign widows makeup bag.

“Huh? merfy she trusted us to distribute her belongings..,.. how could you....” mccee whimpered sadly.

“she has no relatives” mercy said.

“Oh ur right!” mccree said. “But wat was in her will?”

Mtexy took out the will read it aloud. “‘my belongings go to the fellow christians of overwatch.........’ im not christian and neithe are u....and jacc is dead....meaning....Reper will get her thingz!”

“Isn't reappee athist now?” mccrre said.

“O...Dat means.... toblerone is the last christian in ovetwatch.....” mercy and mccree looked at each other. and they knew what they had to do.

“Well i hope u find a good use for that makeup.” McCree saif.

“Ya.” merc agred. “Wait what is on her computrr? we should delete her internet history” she said.

Mccree was already on it, trying 2 crack widow’s password. the hint was “sexy”......wat could it be? he typed in “frank iero” and pressed enter. Immediately he wass signed in. “widow has good taste” he said and nercy nodded.

But what they saw on dat day they did not expect. When it loaded, the desktop backround was something that shocked them. They both gasped.


	31. wodows secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi guys! i havent updated in a while bu datz becuz..............I WAS DRAWING THIS PIC! O F COURTNEY NOW U WILL KNO WHAT SHE LOOKS LIKE :) OOPS GO TO THE AUTHORS NOTE TO SEE COURTNEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <http://i.imgur.com/kxYCZwy.png>
> 
> P.S. SOMEONE1 DREW FANART OF COURTNEY <http://i.imgur.com/nq9pGQt.jpg> PLZ TAKE A LOOK ITS SO GOOD! THIS IS THEIR TUMBLR <https://yourlocallosernamedgreenookie.tumblr.com/> 1ST FANART
> 
> HOPE U ENJOI DA CHAPTRR! MORE 2 COME :3333333333333333333333333

McCree and mercy could not believe what they saw on that day. It was a my little pony backgrounf.....of widowmaker’s own ponysona. they now knew da truth.

“Widw.....wuz a pegasister?” mccree said in horror.

“OMG.” mercy shoted. “We can't let any1 kno. we have to keep widoqws secret.” she said and mccree agreed. they deleted her internet history which was full of pony wensites and changed her desktop into a bible quote and deleted all her pony files. But not before uploading them all online to an anonymous blog whit no trace to windowmaker. So dat her memory could be preserbed....

“we should go..........” mccee said wen they were done. “this house is cursed”

“ya.” mecy saud. There was a fluttershy bodypillow on the bed so they carried it out of da house together and buried it next to gerards grave. When they were done they decided to part ways bc mercy had to perform brain surgery. They said so long farewell......then mccree decided to go 2 da park!

“Lalala” he hummed sexily whit hanjo kicking softly to the beat as he skipped thru da park. admiring all the flowers and stuff. Suddenly he saw a shado approching him in the horizon........WITJ A KNIFE! As thr person got closer, he relizrf that it was his #1 favorite dj frsnd....

“Luxio???” he screamed horrifikally.

“Yes its me mccre.” lciio said. “,Im am sorry, bruh, but......i have to kill u and hanzo otherwise......the mafia will kill me!”,

“Nooooo” mccaree cried out in horror and shocc as his Once friend (but now homicidal maniac) (did u get the reference????) approched him threateningly..................

Meanwhile, coityneu was in lucios house on the phone.  _ Is he done yet? _ she wondered, flipping her hot pink hair that had icy blue roots (just like her eyes) and reapplying her neon yellow eyeshadow and nail polish that also had hot pink intricate designs such as eyes crying blood or smut. there was smut on her nails. She was wearing a neon cyan crop top with tiny white short sleeves over the neon yellow fishnets on her arms and her jeans were thoroughly ripped. omfg all dat time with courtney and we never knew what she looked like!!!!!!!!!;”

Snyway courtnry was bored so she decided to dial the godfather. “HEY..........” she yelled into da phon.

“what is it? You're only a pawn to me” the gf (godf at yer not giftoend!,) said disappointedly. “are u finished with the mission yet? haz da target....... achieved his goal????”,

“No....but he is in the middle of doing it rite nao!” she sniggled......”OMG do u want to watch!?”

“Yes.” the godfather smiled. “Im coming over right awaymm......”

5 minutes later the godfather had arrived in his usual black ripped jeans and taylor swift hoodie. 

“U look good sir.” courtney said even tho she thoght otherwise. They went together to the forest where Lucio was about to stab Jesse mccree.

“IM SORRY MCCREE.” he yelled sadly, crying. He lifted da knife.

Sudenly... “WAIT!” the godfather screamed emotionally and ran over to luco. “Lucio....I am the godfather of the mafia.” He pointed to mccree. “And...Jesse McCree.................you are my one true love!”


	32. a sad song with nothing 2 say...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHATS UP GUYS THI S CHAPTER IS EXTRA LONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> BTW I NEVER MENTIONED THIS BUT JUST SO U ALL KNOW WHAT I TOLD U IN THE AUTHOR'S NOTE OF THE VALENTINES DAY CHAPTER IS NOT VALID ANYMORE. DATS RIGHT BOYS & GIRLS. I AM NO LONGER ON THE MARKET SO YOU CANT ASK ME OUT ANYMORE I KNO HOW MUCH YOU WANTED TO DO THAT XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
> THX TO MY BF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 U UR REDAING THIS RN U ARE SUPPERRR SEXY

 

McCree was having a dream about romantically kissing his wonderfil andvsezy boyfriend Hanzo. But then suddenly he woke up....because the godfather was staring right at him!

“jesse McCree I love you. no homo” the godfather said. “run away with me.”

Mccree didnt say “anytime you want.” instead he shouted “WTF? NO!!!! and........ Wtf?? Why do u want lucio to kil lme if u love me ???” 

“heh...i didnt want him to kill YOU. I was after someoen u may know........ Hanzo Shimdada!” the godfather chuckled. During this time mccree finally got to have a good look at him and saw his face. He had very thicc eyebrows, and was wearing red color contacts and mascara and had an undercut which was brown but bleached on the ends. overall he looked hidous. suddenly he started talking again. “It all started in summer of 2066. 10 years ago...” he warbled unattractively.

“You are dumb! what do u have against him!” mccree shoted. “Horrible story. horrible face. i  am cryin’.”

“shut up sexy. anyway this is how we met. I was at mcdonalds whit my mafia kids....when suddenly...hanzo came in! and he started talking 2 us in japanese! luccily one of my mafia members watches anime so he was able 2 udnerstand and he said hanjo wanted to sit down with us so we let him sit down. and then he ate my french fries. he ate like 2 of them.” the godfather said. “Ever since that day, i LIE AWAKE EVER Y NIGHT thinking about what he did to me and i will NOT REST until JUSTICE has been DELIVERED......in da form.........of murder!!!!!!!!!!” he roared.

“You are messed up, partner.” McCree yelled. Luco and courtney were looking frightened, but mccree was only getting more angier. “u DARE  come round thes here parts and tell me your lies about my  _ boyfriend _ . well i wont stand for this.” he screeched. “And u say you are in love with me. I.........hate you!” he said with anger in his voice and his kokoro.

“No...mCCree...” the godfather whimpered. “For years ive been following u. Desiring you. craving you. and now....u are turning me down?” he sobbed.

“YA??? I have a boyfriend? no homo” mccre roared, showing the godfather his tummy. hanzo kicked softly with agreement. the godfather seemed Shook. He was about to run out of the forest when he suddenly pulled out his gun and pointed it at mccree.

“Fight me.” the godfather said tears and mascara running down his cheeks. “fight me for your love”

“thats messed up......but ok” mccree agrrred reluctantly pulling out his peaskeeper and pointing it at the godfayher. “We can fight....but.......stay away from my hanzo!” he growled like a mama tiger as he touched his tummy brotectively. see wat i did there?

“Heh......ok.” the godfather cackled.

“It's high noon.” mccree said and the godfather fell down. mccre walked over and looked at him. he was thoroughly daed. “gross.” he said disgustedly.

“OMFG!” courtney cried and ran over to the goffatgers dead body. She started 2 cry. “no......daddy.........” then she stopped crying. “nvm i never liked him anyeay.” she told mccree and lucio.

“wait...........” lucio spoke with fear, looking horrified. “if the godfather is dead....then....what will happen 2 the mafia? =S”

“we will need....a new godfather.....” courtney said. “but who? ......OMFG.......LUCHIO...........”

“W-w-w-w-what?”

“since youre da mafias highest respected members decendant.....u are going 2to be the nwew godfather!” she shouted.

Lucio gasped. “OMFG!” he yelled taking out his phone and immediately writing a tweet. Courtney walked over and knocked the phone out of his hand where it fell into the mud.

“No no one can kno about dis!” she todl him angrely.

“o ok.” lucio said.

“Come with me i will teach u the ways of the mafia.......” courtney said mysteriously. she took him by the hand and led him out of the forest. mccree watched them go and started 2 cry. he was going to miss his frien dlucio but this was for da best.

 

\------

 

Meanwhile, for that whole time mei had been working on the love potion. she had been wokring on it for 1 whole month and now it was ready. the love potion was finished and she wuz ready 2 drink it!!!!

“FINALLY” she roared holding it up high. she began 2 think about reaper and the times they would share 2gether now that they were going to be in sexylicious love once more. but.........did she WANT to love reaper? she began to think abou t it, tears beggining to form in her eyes. reapper was ver needy of her love and very weird. also he was dead. 

_ maybe........i shoulndt drink da potion. _ sge thought.  _ is...........reaper.....................WORTH loving? _ she felt despair clawing away at her being and overcoming her slowly. she didnt want to leaev reaper. but....did she still want 2 be whit him???????

she wipped out her phone and checked facebook. she had 99+ new messages but she didnt check any of them she went strait to repers profile and looked at it. it was very dark and emo. just like her soul. heh........after all dis time.....they were still hte same...........

mei sat there wondring wether to drink da potion.  _ well.... _ she thought. _ i spent all dat time mei-king it.....so u kno....watever..... _ she thot and was about to drink it when shge noticed somehting on her desk. it was a pile....of letters!!!!! REAPERS letters.

“OMG i never read these.....i was 2 busy working on the potion.....” she sed, crying as she took the top 1 and opend it. inside was a heartfelt note.

_ “dear my 1 and eternal tru tru love Mei-Ling Zhou, _

_ let me just start....that i love u! i love u,,,,,,,,,,as much as i lov daeth.,.,.,.,.,.(a lot) U are alwayz on my mind babby. i think about u mroe than i think about deaths looming presence over all of us on this p lanet. all of us will die 1 day....but not all of us get 2 have gfs dat are as Wonderful as u babyyyy.<33333333333333 _

_ even tho u never respond i kno that u are reding this! alwayz remember dat I love u. u can remember whit da heart that igave u. treasure it and hfjdsfhsdjfhsdjfh(unintelligable) _

the rest she could nbot read because reapers handwriting sucked but she got the message. then she rememnbere.....d.... DA ICE HEART! hse ran to her underground cellar and retrieved a key which she used to unlock her closet where there was a dusty safe. she put in the numbers 13-3-19 and there it was.........THE ICE HEART thta REAPER had given her so long ago.............and it wuz still perfectly intact! she remembered his words..... _ ”the day this heart melts......is the day i stop lovig u.” _

“r-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-reaper....” she murmured sensuously, touching the heart to her herat. it wuz cold so she held it away from her and cried over it. and dat was when she relized........she didnt NEED the potion.

because....................................................SHE ALREADY L0VEDG REAPER..............................

Crying harder now (but dis team whit tears of love and joy) she went back and put the love potion up inside a cabinet. then she opened her front door and reaper was standing there.

“B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bb-abe.” he said nervously.

“hey sexy.” mei smirked den she stood on her tip toes and kissed him on the lips. he kissed back. but then mei suddenly pulled away and reaper looked at her with horror and rejection. she stepped bacc. and trhen......... she got down on 1 knee and looked up at reaper whit love in he r eyes. “Babe while i was in there.....i came 2 a realization.....i relized....that no one will llove me as much as u do......and i have never loved any1 as much as i love U!!!!” she told reper siincerly. Then she oulled out a ring. “reapy.....will...you.....marry....me?”

there were tears in reapers eyes. “OMFG. yes. YES I WILL MARRY U!” he yelled and took the ring and put it on his claw hand where it fit perfectly because it was custom made. he took her in his arms and htey embraced for the rest of the night but then they got cold so they went to reaper’s place to cuddle on the couch.

genji, who was watching them leave from the bushes, was watching them leave. “interesting.....” he said mysterisoudly.


	33. truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sombra's true feelings revealed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up guyz im baxx w/another chater of hanzodc vore daddy: rebitth!!!! hope u all enjoy xoxo  
> Thanx 2 Ass and anon for their commentz!!!!!!!!!!! i love u guys & i would die for both of u. :}  
> p.s. CONTENT WARNING 4 suicide in this chapter. it is right at the beginning so if u dont wanna read u can skip past it but just kno that it happens.

sombra was sobing, alone in her dark desolate basement. she couldnt handle it anymore. she couldnt handle the guilt that came whit KILLING her best friend winston. and in turn ruining zenyattas life. and thru it all she had only lied. she had denied it all just 2 save herself. But now she was done.

shakily griping her bottle of bourbon she cast it to the side where it smashe on the floor. she was thoroughly tipsy. she had 2 be drunk........ to get through wat she wuz about 2 do.

in her other hand was............a gun. holding it up she suddenly remmebered her fav comic ever, johnny the homicidal maniac....and smiled but in an ironic way as ger tears driped onto the floor.

“no more dreaming 4 REAL friends. no more stars for me to be alone udner. No more. im blowing through that lid.” she quoted (please dont sue me) trembling as she held da gun to her head. “.........over the stars.”

**BOOM**

suddenly mercy ran into the room.. “hey sombra- Omg!” she yelled seeing sombra was all bloody on da floor. “ _HELDEN STERB-_ ”

that was when the potg ended. mercy and sombra were watching it2tgether and sombra was still mad mercy idnt let her die and mercy was mad that sombra was the one who had goten potg.

“maybe da people protesting were rite” mercy murmurd.

“I WAS DEAD U COULD HAVE JUST LEFT ME ALONE” sombra roared looking at the bloody gun on the floor.

“No i couldnt wtf.” mercy sjouted. “why did u do that?? why...why would u want to...”

“....i cant tell u” sombra cried.

“tell me” mercy wept.

“ok” sombo said. she thought abot it. sh e thought about the guilt. da lies. the pain. woud mercy still want 2 be frends with her?? let alon..feel the same way,.... conflict and dread encased her being. ”i cant” she cried out. “i........im sorry.......”

“......dat’s ok...do u want to go out and get some pizza?”

“yes” somra said.

later they were out at pizza hut having cheese pineappl pizza. they LOVED pinapplez on their pizza! its canon ok!

“nom nom nom” sombra nommmed her lsice of pizza dat had LOTS of puneaple chunks on it! mercy was also nomming her piza and she looked very joyful to be having pineapplr pizza on that day. sonbra looked into her eyes and suddenly she knew that she vcould tell her anything. she was ready 2 tell mercy the real reason winston died.

“mercy...” shr said mysteriously.

“ya?”

“i....m ready to tell u now. winston....didnt really- OMFG IS DAT WHO I THINK IT IS?” she sjouted as they both saw a familiar face at da table across from them.

It was mccree! He was also eating pineapple pizza and sharing it whit his boyfriend inside of him. how......romantic!!!

“macree! hh-hanzo! ova here bois!” sombra called out waving. mercy looked at her wuth slight concern but difnt say anything. mcree caught her eye and smild warmly, waving bacc. then he got his pizza and sat at their table next 2 sombra.

“what a coinciddtncre meeting u ladies her!” he said happily. “So wats up?!?”

“i playd over 10 hours straight of neopets yesterday.” mercy said. “when i looked at da time it was 5 minutes....until a brain syrgery!!! i missed the operation i just had to play more neopets. hte person died. it was ok tho i just rezzed them later. Lol.”,

“Lol!” said mccree and sombra.

“what about u sombra?” mccree axed.

sombra thot about the past few hours of her life. “not much” she said.

“same. wish i didng have 2 be on maternity leave......from being a gunslinger   .......” mccvgree mourned. “idk what i would do if smth happened to my precious hanzo!”

“Dont worry if anything happens i can just rez him. Lol!” mercy said.

“oh ya....LOL!” mccre chuckled. suddenly he got a notification so he checked facebook on his cellphone. then he gasped. “omfg, guys! mey and reaper.........are getting married!!! and we are all invited 2 the wedding;!!” sonvra and mrecy gasped too!

t+o-r-b-j-o-r-n (i dont want to invoke him) was sitting at another table eating pizza crusts when he overheard and walked ovre in his wheelchair. mccree, slmbvra, and .bmercuy didnt turn to look at him they were just looking at mccres phone.

“am i invited 2 the wedding?” torbh axed shyly.

mccre didnt look away from his phone. “No, torbmorn.” (get it??? because i am always morning when i see tofbjkrn) mccree said. the whole restaurant stood up and started clapping as torbjorn sadly left the pizza hut.

Later mccre and mecy were saying goodbye to sonbra as thry were going different places. mccree and mercy were going to mei and reaper's house to congratulate them, and sombra was going elsewhere......


	34. shiver away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up guys welcomr 2 the latest chapter! happy birthday 2 the osomatsus!!! may 24th!!!  
> P.S. NoMoreMemes if ur reading this i love u and thank u for da wonderful awesime readingz of my story!!!; :-)  
> to anyone else who is reading this and does Not kno about it, go here and be blessed.... <https://soundcloud.com/nomorememes/hanzos-vore-daddy-rebirth-chapter-1-5-months> xoxo

Soon mercy an dmccree had arrived........at meri and reper’s house! (reaper had moved into meis house and the mailman mei had met b4 now lived in reaeprs house)

“OMG i am so excited to talk to them.” mercy said excitelyly.

“same” mccree stated. they knocked on the door and while they were waiting they were on their phones looking at facebook. me i and reper had made TONS of sexy posts about how their love wuz stronger than ever!!!! suddenly mei opened the door and smiled at them warmly.

“hi!!” she greted them whit joy. “what brings u guyz here? xD”

“O we wabnted 2 congratulat u on ur engagement!!!” merxy said.

“Congratz!!!!” mccree roared.

mei blushed.”omg thanx guys! why dont u come in?!?! reper just brought takeout!!!!”

“Ya!” mccree and mrcy said at the same time as they both came ibto the house whicj was veryy clrean. reape was at the dining table inhaling filipinos.

“OMFG REAPER WE HAVE GUESTS” mei screeched.

“H-h-huh?m Omg!” reaper looked up at them snd there were filipino crumbs in his mouth and all over his mask. he looked bad. “omg!” he said covering his face.

“haha its ok repr.” mccrer winked walking over and tipping his hat. suddenly he felt like he had a stomach ache....but he knew why! “hanjo says congrats on ur engagement! yee haw!” he chuckled.

“thx.....hanzo.......”reape wept putting another flipino into his mouth but not having the willpower to chew it. “how does ana do it....” he cried

“idk. Lol. can me and hanzo try 1??” mccree axed.

“Take it” resper sobbed shoving da package into mcceees pregnant arms and burying his face in his own armz as he cried.

then mccree triedca filipuno. “OMG this is freaccing good! heres another one hsnzo” he exclaimed. swiftly inhaling thr rest od the package.

mercy and mei were watching them and shaking their heads.

“smh” mei said shaking her haed.

“literally same.” mercy stated. they went into anothet room away from mccree and reprr’s drama. now....they could talcc! “SO WHATS UP GURRRL” mercvy scrreched.

“I JUS GOT ENGAGED?? U???” mei roared bacc.

“OMfg girll its ur day 2day, giv e me all da deets.”

“well...okie.....” mei gighled... “it all started...whit my death.” mrecy listened for 2 hours as mei told her all about da time she spent olone and making the love potion and l8r realizing that she truly truly loved reper. It was beutiful. mercy was crying and so was mei.

“that’s so heartwaeming.” mercy cried silently. “im sooo glad for u guyz! xoxo!”

“thanx mrecy.” mei blushed.

“I hav....1 question thoughm...  .........” mrefcy said mysterreously. “what are u going 2 do whit the love potion?”

“idk. maby i will just leave it there.” mei stated.

“idk wat if some1 stealz it?? and uses it...4 evil?”

“dat won't happen!” msi said confidamtly.

“ok if ur syre.. ...” mercy stated. howwrever....dere was unease in not only her voice but her kokoro.


	35. killing b4 killing was cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sombra visits zenyata'z house!!!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this chapter is extra long!!!!! :3 hope it wuz worth da wait xDDDD!!!!!  
> to bonedaddy: thank u for ur support i will remmeberber your coment forever! hanzo is not dead. he will be rebirthed soon!!! ;) throughout da story he does things like kicking lol so that's how u kno

Finally aftrr 1 hour of bus rides sonbra had arrived 5 minutres away from zenyata’s house! she wundered wat she would say 2 him.but also she knew, deep in her soul... she felt confident she woulfd know da answers.

“kock lnock knock” she said as she knocked on zeny’s door.

“I AM COMING” vendetta screamed tranquilly from inside da house. then she also heard “i will call thou bacc sorry.” and da sound of a phone cliccing. who wuz zen talking 2?

Zennayata arrived at the door but didnt open it. “whom is it?” he axed

“your sexy girlfrend! haha jusr kidding.” Sombra said.

“Huh? i dont have a girlfriend? sorry i cant open the door, strangr dangr.”

“No....no zendaya i-i-its me. im so sorry. its me sombra. please forgive me” sombra sobbed.

then zenugfata opened the door whit a shocked gasp. “sombra i wasnt expecting guests!!;” he said shockedly. “i hav...business to take care of. but dats ok. come in...”

sombruh walked in and da house was a mess! but dat was ok. Clearly zenyata was still mourning winston and did not have time to clean. in that moment she turned and looked into zrnyattas eyes and saw universes.

“zenyata...” she wgispered.

“yes Sombra?” he said.

“how......how. can u be so strong after ur love has Died???” sombra axed asc she cried softly. inside her heart she knew she could never tell him the truth. zen thought that winston had drowned when skinny dipping.. but it was all a lie.

zen lpoked her in the eye. “im not.” he murmured whit pain in his omnic voice. “I cry every day and wish i was dead just like hi.m....but.....im not.” he sobbed emotionally and sombre could see the emotion coded in the tears he shed that fell onto the cold floors because he was an omnic. “but this is my curse..i must b alive.... until the day that i Die.”

“idk where u get ur infinite wisdom zeby.” sonbra gasped as she wept. “i miss him to.” she told Zenyista. they held each othet in their arms for a few hours (platonically) jsut crying.

suddenly at 11:14 pm sombra relized how late it was! “omg zen” she cried pulling away from his metalljc arms. “it is already 11:14 no wait 11:15 and i have 2 get up early tomorrow!”

“huh? what are u doing tomorrow?”

“marching for mercy to get potg” she told zenyatta.

zendaya gasped. “omfg ill join u!” he said delightedly yet tranquilly. “mercy has dealt with this injustice for far too long and now, it is time 2 fight back. it is what winstonn would have wanted.” he added grimly.

“yes.zen....maybe....this is the tru way to mourn winston!!!” somburp shouted whit a gasp of realization. zentatwa gapsed too. “instead of crying 4 him.....we must stand up for wat he stood for in his place......in order to truly honor his memery.”

“omfg!” zenchacha yelled peacefully. “ur completely right......Winston wouldn't hav wanted us 2 cry for him for 5 hours srtraight when instead we could be donating to his favorite youtubets on patreon.”

“exactly.” sonhrea said. “In fact let's do dat right now!” then they went to patreon and sombruh hacced $500 into the collective fav youtuber of everyone in overwatch Slickery’s patreon. Slickery if ur reading this i love ur videoz!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxo ill never forget how u wished me a happy birthday!!!!! any1 else reading this please watch his videos right now.

anyway after that symmetra went back to her own house to go to bed and zen was about to go to bed too when he sudenkly remembered.......hte phone call!

“omg” he said sprinting 2 the phone on his legs and piccing it up and dialling a numbre. dats not a typo that's how u spell number in canada. Anyway the person on da othre end picked up aftre like 3 rings.

“Hello?” a dark and scratchy voice sAid.

“hello...Bob...It’z me,.....Lil Z.” zenyada said to the person on the othre end. his voice was full of thinly veiled trepidation. he didnt want 2 talk to this person ever again...but...he had no choice.

“oh....You...after all this time...” the person chuccled darkly. “Heh...no one ever leaves for long. except my dad. i miss him”

“i miss him too.” said zenyata trying to gain sympathy.

“No you dont.” Bob said. “I’m sick of your lies lil z.”

“sorry.” zanyatta whimpered.

“Whatever.” bob scoffed. “Anway finally ready 2 come back? the last shipment u helped with raked in sooooooooo much moolah!!! hundreds babby!!! we couldnt have done it without yuo, of corpse. who knew they liked heroin in hawaii?!?!? heh....”

hawaii...that was wherhe winston had gone for vacation where he had...died. ... had he.......? NO. winston was better than drugs. he woupdnt even touch them he would only touch them to throw them in da trash! zenyatta wuz about to start crying but he stayed strong for his lover. “oh...haha...” he laughed fakely. then he realized...it was time. “about what i have been..doing for u in the past....NO MORE!” he yelled suddenly and emotionally. “I’m sick of it. I’m sick of hte lies. im not going to hide ur drugs from the police anymore.”

Bob was enraged. “What?!?! what do u MEAN??” he roared.

“i-i-i-im done.” zen sobbed. “I don’t need yuor money i can work at nofrills. find someone else 2 do your dirty work........,...i Quit!!!!! this isnt what winston would have wanted. he wouldnt ever want me involved with drugs!!” he told bob. “he wwas BETTER than drugs.....so im going to honor him. im quitting.”

“You dont know what ur saying lil z.” bob snarled. “We need you. you kno ur the only one in your area whos doing this for us. think about what youre saying Lil Z!!!!!!!”

“I did. 1 month ago. when winston died. i vowed to change myself!!! tell me Bob would winston ever consider doing drugs in his life? he would always say No! so its time for me to say no. goodbye bob.” zen hung up and had a coke. he changed into his kitty pajama pants before he went to bed. That night he couldn't sleep because of the caffeine.

 

Meanwhile genji was also doing stuff and he was ready 2 kill! he didnt kill anyone tho. xD as he roamed in the shadows he had headphones on and was listening to Skrillex.

“ _Here in the dark I can see who you are_  
_I see so clearly_  
_The beat of my heart just stops and starts_  
_Whenever you're near me_  
_I just gotta thank you, all the love I gave you_ _  
Came and you took it all away_ ” genji sang along. I dont own the lyrics!!! please dont sue me anyway where was genji going?!?!?

soon it was all revealed. he was going...... to mei and rrpeper's house! gengi had been planning this for weeks. he would not be caught because he had stalked mei and reaper and found out that tonight was da night they would be oging out for a dinner date! He did not have mmmuch time but luccily his mission would be quicc.

Genji leped into their open window and went into the basement. there it was, on a shelf. It was........................the love potion!

“finally, u will lov me again...” he murmured as he took the vial and put it in his bag andn snaked away from mei and reapers house.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mccree gets recrtuted by the naked cowboy cult of new york and meets genji at burger king! meanwhile somhting dark is reveled to mercy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys wazyp!!! i have a lot to put in tgis a/n xD ok 1st of all thanx 4 all da comments!!!!!!! 2nd of al thanks again to NoMoreMemes i check ur page every day to see if youve posted a new reading!! xoxo  
> to oh no: ;)  
> to barghest: just for u i put a sensuous vore scene in this chapter. hope u enjoi it!!  
> to frohoe: OMFG THANK U AND I LOVE U!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
> EVERYBODY CLICC THIS LINK IT IS FANART  
> <https://froyonetr.tumblr.com/post/161529027653>  
> THANX AGAIN 4 THE SUPPORT GUYS!!!!!!!!!!! XO

_it'z a vorelicious day today._ McCree thought as he stroled leisurely thruogh the streetz of New York City. he had come here because he wanted to try out their burger king. He hadnt had burger king here before so he was very excited 2 try it out and maybe even become the burger king of new jork!

As he traipsed around he gasped. because in front of him was a man......dressed liek a cvowbuo except............. .... he was naked!!! the man saw him too and walked up to him and said hi.

“who are u?” mccree asked him shoccedly. “OMG are u hthe naked cowboy?!?!?! im a big fan!”

“no hes dead. you seem like a c;owboy.” the cowboy said. “would u like to join the naked cowboy cult?”

“WOULD I?!?!” mccree screamed delightedly. “how do i get started?!?!????”

“U just did!!! so bazically there are a lot of us cowboys and 1 is chosen to be the Naked Cowboy.. then we worship him until he dies!” the cowboy explained.

“oh? are u the chosen one then?” mccree asked him.

“yes. i was actually looking for new recuites rifht now! actually you are so sexy that im resigning from my position of naked cowboy.” the cowboi said as he started to put clothes on. “McCre........will you be the new Naked Cowboy?”

“HECK YA!!!!!” mccre roared. he started taking his clothes off right there until he was in nothing but his pregnant tummy and his cowboy boots and his scarf cape thing and his underwear which had little bunnies wearing cowboy hats on it.

“perfect.” the cowvoy gaspes. “Ok i have to go.” he said then he left.

mccree was standing there being mostly nude but he was getting bored. _maybe i should go to burger kinh now._ he thot....

when he arrived at burger king he noticed someone familar standing in line! some1 his age! some1 sexy! someone who was a single parebt! it was .............genji!

“genni what are u doing in new york?” mccree axed as he cut thru the line to join him.

“mccree?” genji gasped, blushing (but mccree could not see). “i just wanted to try the burger king xD what are U doing in new york?!?”

“Same as joo lel ;333” As they progressed through the line they wondered what to order. mccree decided 2 get mozzarella sticks and a Big King™ Sandwich (for the Big King™ inside of him ) along whit a coke zero. genji decided to order a medium sprite with chicken nuggets.

aftr praying for the burger king to bless the food they sat down at a booth. mccree gasped as he gazesd at the burger in front of him. it looked sensuous and he couldnt weait to vore it.

"im gonna vore this burger genji." he murmured vorily. "will u vore urs?"

"of corpse" genji said, as he sensously eyed his chicken nuggrts and prepared his body for the vore that was soon t2 hapen.

mccree began to sensationally vore his burger. tears sensually streamed down his face as it was very sensuous and delicious and he loved thi sburger that he was voring in a very sensational way, but no more than he loved to vore his love hanzo. "enjoying the meal?" he axed his lover. hanzo kicked softly. dat meant yes.

soon,it was finished. mccree’s big boy king burger or whatever had been vored and he was ecstatic. adrenaline coursed thru his body. He hadnt vored like this since thr day he had vored his boyfriend hanbgo.

Then.....it was genjo’s turn!!! every chicken nugget rammed into his face reminded him more and more of home. bacc in hanamara when he wuld vore all the girlfrends he acquired. and even just 1 year ago...when he and mccree were in sexylicious love (no homo) and spent mAny nights taking turns voring each ohter...... the memories were 2 much and he started to cry. but then he stoped when he relized....those days wood retur n soon! nyahahaha!! :3

“want to go 2 back home,?” gangrene axed when they were done sensuously voring their meals.

“yes” mccree said so they started going bacc home together.

 

~~~

 

On the same day, Mercy was walking outside genji's house when she noticed the door was ajar. so she went inside.

_genji dont u have a child to care for???_ ehe thought closing yhe door behind her. the entire living room was covered in katanas. they were on the walls and hanging from da ceiling and also strewn around tghe floor. wtf what a safety hazard!!!!!

genji and genjee didnt seem to be home so it was ok for now but she wuz still very weary of the katanas. she flew ovr them whit her angel wingz and went int2 the kitchen. and gasped again. there were even More karanas. there were katanas in the oven and the microwave and even insidr da fridge!nnn

“OMFG” meryc yelled. when wiukd it end?!?! but she never received an answer. In the doorway of the kitche  stood a shaodw.

“............Mercy........” a dark voice said.

she gasped in horror and quiccly ran to the doorway. But the shadow was gone. the voice was too dsrk to be genjis. there was only 1 prtson that it could have been.......

“genjee?” she called out spookily wondering why genji would leave him alone at home. But... again she recived no anser.

mercy walkde thru the hallway and went upstairs. she needed to assess the safety of genjis house and possibly clean up da katanas l8r! as a favor. she was building up lots of favors from genji so maybe he would take her out to dinner someday.

Then she saw it. genjee’s door was open.

“....genjee?” mercy said softly and quietly. in the darkness sat a lone ninja baby. he was crying and listening to hatsune miku.

“ _Umareta imi wo sagashita sagashiteita motometeita_

_Boku nanka boku nanka kieteshimaeba ii”_ he sang along sadly.

_wtf?_ mercy thought but zhe didnt say anything.

“Mercu...” genjgi said suddenly ninja jumping into her arms. “Why am I alive?”

nErcy gasped. “WTF genje ur jyst a baby why are u thanking that?!?!”

“my existence was a misttake. a cowboy and a cyborg ninja. how could i have been birthed? it defies all laws of mankind.” he said sombrely

“genjeee dat doesnt matter... u were formed...thru the true super power of love! when ur parents love each other very much-”

“there was no love involved. i looked into my father McCree’s eyes and saw the only love he holds in his kokoro is for hanzo. But....my father genji.....” he murmured whit pain in his eyes. “...............they never broke up......did they.......”

“w-w-w-w-w-w-wh-wh-wh-what???” mercy said.

“he still loves mccree. he talks to me about it for hours about the unfairness. how mccree mourned him after hanzo killed him yet went off to be with him only a few months afterwards. and i, the product of this one sided love, can only watch his frustration grow as the days wear on”

“thats rough buddy.” mecry told him.

genjee confinued.....”but he doesnt want to deal with it anymore. he is planning something mercy.” he informed her. “He....is desperate for my father's love. so desperate that he would resort to theft. lying. cheating. he stole something from aunt mei. he didnt say what.... but it is important. and tonight is the night. he might be doing it as we speak. He didnt tell me tho i was just reading his diary.” Genjee said as he loked up into mcrecccy’s eyez.

“he stole something......from mei?!?!?!??” Mrecy gasped. she remembred hte words she had shared with mei only a few dayz ago...

_“what are u going 2 do whit the love potion?”_

_“idk. maby i will just leave it there.”_

_“idk wat if some1 stealz it?? and uses it...4 evil?”_

_“dat won't happen!”_

“Oh no.” she said, dread in her hearrt. “i...have 2 stop this! g-g-genjee do u know where he went?

“Yes. my father said he would take.....my father to the cowboy diner.” genjee enlightened her.

“thank yuo genji.” mercy began to run. she hoped she would not be 2 late......................


	37. there’s things that i have done you never ever should know......

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WAZZUP GUYS WELCOME TO THE LATEST CHAPTER OF HANZOS VORE DADDY: REBIRT!!!!! =) thanx 2 all my readers and my frendz 4 beta reading!!!! x3 lol luv u guyz!!!! enjoy da chapter!  
> p.s. message to [No More Memes](https://soundcloud.com/nomorememes/) on soundcloud (guys pleas checc him out!!!!) IM SO EXCITED?!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!??!?!??!?!??!?!??!?!?!? THX FOR DA READINGS!!!!!!!!! I LOVE U!!!!!!  
> p.p.s rhis is the official genjee design lol <http://i.imgur.com/1fpiYIB.png> (dats a onesie)

genji wuz excited. Actually excited was an understatement. he was ecstatic and his kokoro began to doki doki with anticipation of wjat he was about to do!!! The love potion was in his poccet and mccres hand was in his jhand (they were holding hands) as they skipped to the cowboy diner together. Tgey were very hungry after the long journey back home because it had taken like 8 hours and they had walked the whole way so thats why they were eating out again!

When they arrived at their table, genhi began to smile even tho McCree couldn't see it under his mask. He was madly in love whit mccree. and after today, he would be able to show it. after today, genjee would have 2 fathers!! gengo would no longer have to be a single parent.also he would be able to kiss mccrsee anytime he wanted. As he thought of the possibilities he cried softly, whit joy.

“Genji!!?! why are u crying?” mccree axed shockedly.

“uhhh uhhhhhhhhhh ummm...” genji said nervously. “I-i-i-i was just looking at da menu and I was intimidated becayse there is so much food! western food! wat is a hot dog?”

“OMG YOUVE NEVER HAD A HOT JGODOGOG???” mccree yelled getting the attention of everyone els ein the diner.

“No.” genji said depravedly.

“OMG!” mccrre screamed. right then the waiter came by and asked what they wanted. “2 grilly cheeses for me and hanzo to share.” he said smiling as he toucned his pregonant tummy and made eye contact whit the waitr. “ And my friend genji will have 6 hot dogs.”

“Ok any drinks?”

“no thanx, gotta watch dem calories LOL!”

“actually i would like a large coke.” genji spoke.

“Ok.” the waiter said and left. mccree began to look at his tummy appreciateivyly.

“Ahh....soon...u will come back to me babe!” he sighed.

“Soon? when are u expecting to giv birth?” genji axed.

“next month!” mccree said happily. “im soooo excited!”

_ why.... _ genji tjought.  _ why dose he love hanzo! we were 2gether! until hanzo.....Almost killed me.... _ he grimaced.  _ if he knew that it was hanzo..... would he stil <3 him? _

Then the waiter arrived whit their food so he had to stop being bitter and enjoy da hot dogs! they were very strange. he was very mystified but he bore it because his love mccree wanted him to have them. “mmm.” he said fakely as he drank more of his large coke. But soon he realized that he wouldn't be able to finish the coke! But also he realized something heinous.

“MxCree....” he spoke shyly. “I-I-i cant finish my drink!!! i shouldnt have gotten a large now it has to be a waste!” he sobbed.

Macree looked at him w/ sympathy. “awws....genji.....” he said. “.......i can finish it for u! i don't care about the calories i can just work out with zarya! Lol”

“omg u would really do that?” genji was still crying but this time with tears of joy.

“Yes.”

“Thanx mccdeeere.” genji smiled thruogh the pain in his heart and gav the coke to his love. But little did mccre know...... while he wasn't looking gdjsjfjff 002 genji had poured the love potion into the cup and put the lid back on! whenever mccree would drink the potion...he would be in love whit him again....................... genji couldnt wait!

since he was done wtith his hotdogs he watched mccree sexily eat his 2nd grilly cheese. But sexy as it was to watch his true love do anything he grew impatient.

“Uhhhhh mccree are u gonna drink ur drink?” he axed thirstily.

“Heck ya!!!!!!” mccree screeched. “i wanna finish feeding hanzo first tho.” he siad with a smil.e.

“Oh...understandale.....” genji said saidly. his anticipation of the Moment ever growing...... 

Soon mccree had finished his food and he told genji “mmmmmm im ready to jhave ur drink now!” Genji smiled as McCree lifted the cop to his moth. the insanely sexy, ruggedly handsome, hunky, beautiful, awesome, mindblowingly attractive, devastatingly good looking, pregnant babe magnet cowboy looked him in the eye as he took a long sip. But then/............

**BAM!** that was the sound of someone kickign doors open! boht genji and mccree turned to look, mccree stil drinking from the cup.

“ANGELA?!?!” Genji cried. her pistol was raised. and then.....  **BANG**

“Ahhhhh” genji screamed as he fell to the floor, bleeding. “Anglela why?!?!” Mccree spit out his drink all over genji.

“Omg!” he yelled rushing to his side. “Genji speak 2 me!”

“McCree......babe...”

“Uhh i have a boyfriend” mccree said.

“sorry” genji said weakly as he bled in mccree’s arms.

Then mercy walked over. “What do u have to say for yourself?” she said looking at gneji.

“I...Im soryr.....I’d do anything just for mccree to love me again like the good old days” he sobbed.

“What????” mccree said.

“Please heal me angela.” genji said. Mercy said nothing. instead she pulled something out of her pocket. it was...................... gneji’s medical bills! she looked genji in the eyes as blood pooled around him and onto mccrees clothes.

“pay up.” she told him. genji looked into her eyes with pain.

“Ok.” he died.

McCree was still holding him in his arms. “mercy what was that/?!??! why did u shoot gengi? Why didn’t u let me drink my coke?!?!” he cried.

Mercy began to explain what genjee had told her and what she knew, and mccree gasped. he had no idea what his frend had been planning! and he felt shocced, and betrayed. Tru he and genji never actully broke up....but how could he ever get over his former bf dying.......... and then deal with the shock of him coming bacc to life?!??! he couldnt. he felt tears coming to his eyes. 

“Thank u mercy....yuo saved me!” he cried.

“You’re welcome.” mercy said. “I’m starving wanna get some mcdonalds?”

“uhh....i....Sure” mccree said. he didnt want to turn mercy down even tho he was full.  _ i can juts burn the calories with zarya later, _ he told himself sadly.


	38. chaptrr 38..(the age of hanz o shimada)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHTAS UP GUYZ!!!! LOL! HOPE U ENJOYIY DIS NEW CHAPTER!  
> to "me" and "oh no" (guest commenters): thank u both for ur comments i will rmemeeberber them 4ever! :)  
> p.s. i went thru the fic and made all the links cliccable for ur viewing pleasure so u dont have 2 copy and paste them into yuor browser!  
> p.p.s. here is an album of photos i would like 2 share. this is a collection of my FANART of MCCREE CRYING!!! [LINK](http://imgur.com/a/zBrXh) the last pic is a collab w/ my sexy awesoemfmmeme bf he colored and i did the lines!lol enjoy  
> p.p.p.s. more fanar t coming soon!!! (from me of course! anyone is free 2 make their own! ;) ) request anything 4 me to draw i migh draw it! xD please

at mcdonalds mccree and mercy were having a very good time! except mccree wasnt sactually sorry i lied to u.

 _i dont want this._ he thought depressedly as he looked at his medium mac. but mercy was eating hers so he sadly took a bite and felt like he wanted 2 die. just like the gorrillaz guy whose name is 2-die.

but thenz, he had a realiatization.

“mercy...” he gasped. “if genji is dead...then...will i get custody of Genjee/?”

“Yes.” mercy informed him. “I wonder how he w ill take.....da news....” she said soberly and sadly.

“me too...” mccree said as he bagen to cry. “My poor son..... he doesnt desreve this....”

While mcre wuz crying , someone had noticed the,m. and that someone was...................sombra! unbenownst to mccree and mercy, she was sitting in a booth in the corner. she had run out of money long ago but she was still sipping on a small pepsi with medium fries because she had hacked them onto her table.

“Everything can be hacked..........and...everyone.” she cackled discretly. but also, she was crying as she watched mccree and mercy. she wanted t o say hi to mercy.....but she awas busy w/ mccree! would hshe even want to talk to sombra?!??! her fries were salty enough.....they didnt need her emotions.......

When Mercy and Mccree finished their meal they decided to aprt ways. Mccree was going to give genje the news and mercy was heading back 2o the overatwatch base.

On her way there she bumped into symmetra!

“symetra?” she gasped. “i ahven’t seen u in 2 years where have you been!”

“Oh youou know...” Symmetra said. ‘just around....I recently started a club in overwatch!” she gigled.]

“Omfg really?” mercy scremaed.

“Yes. uwu” symmetra said. “Actually i was just on my way there for our 1st club meeting evah!!!. would u like to join me?”

“Sure.” mercy chuckled. As they walked thrugere they discussed hteir lives and what they had been doing and it was very enlighhtening. at last....they had arrived at the club room!

 _im so excited i wonder what her clubs going 2 b e about? i never axed!_ mercy thogut excitedly as symmetrta opened the door to reveal a medium sized room. When they steped insied mercy gasped.

accross the room’s opposite wall was a big magenta banner with cyan lettering **“WELCOME TO THEOVERWATCH FURRY CLUB”** along with balloons of the same colors that were stucc to the ceiling. but dat wasnt all. On the sides of the room there were several clothing racks with hangers on them that had fursuits on them, of several different animal species and smoe mercy could not identify. and in the center off the room there was one of those big gray foldable tables you know the kind it’s everywhere!!!!. it had a laptop on it and there was also a presentation board underneath the banner on the wall.

“What do u think?” symmetra said proudly.

“Umm im not a furry but... its...very nice” mercy told her. “i just remembeded i had to perform heart surgery 5 minutes ago bye symmetra!” she gasped as she left the room quiccly and frantically.

“Oh...ok......”syme=mettra sighed. At least she knew someone else wuz coming so she sat down at the table and played neopets on her laptop until she heard the door open. she looked up and smiled. it was...................Roadhog!

“Roadie ur here! uwu” she said happily and jumped up to welcome him.

“Yes...” roadhog murmured. he wasnt actually a furyry but symmetra seemed happy he was here so he was staying. Also he looked like a pig anyway so....YOLO!

“Ok lets start the meeting...” symtetetera said and grabbed her favoritttie fursuit off the rack and showed it to roadie. “what do u think of this?” it was a dark gray, deep sky blue, and white wolf costume which looked very cool.

“it suits u. hehe” roadhog said as he inspected it.

“Thank u!” symmetra said whit a smile. she was about to put it on when they heard something rumbling thru the walls.

 ******_A PIRATE WALKS INTO A BAR_**  
 **_THE BARTENDER ASKS_**  
 **_WHATS WITH THE STEERING WHEEL IN YOUR PANTS?_**  
 **_AND THE PIRATE SAYS  
_ _ARRR! IT’S DRIVING ME NUTS!_**

“WTF?!??!” Symmetra yelled. roadhog looked disgusted too thru his mask but symmetra couldnt see.

 ******_NOW IVE BEEN RIDIN ‘CROSS THE SEVEN SEAS_**  
 **_LOOKIN FOR A GIRL FROM ANOTHER FANTASY_**  
 **_I KEEP A BIG SHIP_**  
 **_THEY CALL ME CAPTAIN KID_**  
 **_I GOT THE EYE PATCH_**  
 **_TRI HAT  
_ _ROLLIN LIKE A PIRATE_**

“Omfg it must be our next door neighbor!!” sym told him as she angrily opened the door and stormed to the next door down the hallway. roadhog followed her to see her knocking angrily. and then the door opened. their next door neighbor stood in front of Symmetra, wearing a black and red Blood on the Dance Floor shirt along with an OBEY hat.

“Hello!” orisa said as Blood on the Dance Floor blared from the speakers behind her.

“orisa.” symmetra said painedly in a pained voice, stil holding the head of her fursuit. “please turn down your......music. roadhog and i are t rying to have a club meeting.”

“Oh.. ok...” orisa said sadly, going bacc into the room and turning it down to a bearable volume. she sighed morosely. “I LOVE blood on the dance floor x3.” she told symetra and sroadghgohog.

the horible music wuz still playing and symetrmtmata ciouldn’t take it anymore.. “BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR IS GARGBAGE” she roared

Orisa gasped. “symmetra i thought we were friends?” she said taking a step back.

“We are....” symobobobo murmured. “....but....waht kind of music is that?!? its horrifying!!!!” she cried out emotionally.

“ITS MY LIFE” orisa yelled. “the blood represents HUMANITY and the dancefloor represents THE EARTH”

“No it dosent.” symmetrra said cruelly. “Im sorry but i can’t accept this.” tears were stremaing down her face. “Please orisa think abuout what youre listening to.”

“I-i-i-i-im sorry.” orisa sobbed. “....but i love them moar den i love myself xDDDD.” Efi had been thotful enough to install tear ducts into her body so she was crying puddles of water onto the cold floor.

“Ok suit yourself uwu” symmetra scoffed darkly putting on the head of her fursona. “But one day you iwll regret this.” she said and walked with roadhog back to the furry room where they continued the meeting until 2 am that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i want 2 cry because i have blood on the dance flor stucc in my head now :(


	39. alcohol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mei and reaperz romantic wedding!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whats up yall!?!?!! jk i don't say y'all LOL. Thx for ur comments oh no!

it was da day of the wedding and reapee had nrver felt more excited! “hehe” he sniggled in his usual dark voice as he leaned in front of his mirror, putting on eyeliner, mascara, foundatin, red eyeshadow, faintly blood scented lipbalm to enhance the kissability of his lips along with subtle deep red lipstick, soul globe earrings cursed by mercy (who was also a witch) to have blood eternally dripping from them, black nailpolish with blood red on the tips, and of course a heart locket with a picture of his shotguns inside. But then he put his mask so most of the makeup was a waste. but it didn't matter though because he felt pretty.

However along wgut excitement he was alao feeling angst.m. Was mei SURE she wanted to mary him? even thoufg he was nothing but a waste of time and space? just like the song “Just Another Face” by modern baseball. 

_ “im a waste of time and space.” _ just like reaper,a/n and me haha. That was why it was his favorite song (even though it was 51 years old,) next to the classic “Brand New Colonoscopy” by The Postal Service.

As he thought about the wedding more worry prickled in his kokoro. It was horrible. what if mei was just marrying him because it was one of those situations where she didnt actually like him anymore but she was just going through with it for tax benefits? or she was just dragging it on only to tell him it was all a lie after 10 years of marriage?

Suddenly the door slammed open interrupting reaper’s pain. he turned around, mascara pooling in the tears around his eyes but it was ok because his mask was covering everything. standing in front of him..............was McCree!

“mcCree what are you doing here?” reaper growled trying not to sound like he had been crying.

McRee ignored his question. “Reaper, are you crying?” he axed pregnantly.

“No.” reper said.

mccree walked up to him and touched his face lightly. he leaned in closer. and in the light repper could seethat he was crying too. “You can tell me the truth...gabrel” he murmured.

“Don’t call me that! And im fine i dont need your help!” reaper screeched. “Im getting married! Ur what 15? 16? and single?”

“HUH! Why i never!” McCree said offendedly. “I have a boyfriend reaper! And tru I do look young for my age..hehe...”

“Shut up mccree.” reaper sobbed.

“U ARE CRYING!” mzccfrrrv yelked.

“NO IM NOT!” Reper screamed.

“Yes u are! why repepr it's your weding day!” mitochondria murmured.

“Oh....mccree.....” reaper whimprred and fell into his muscular arms. “,it's just.... doee mei still like me? what if she hatss me? and is just going through the wedding because of tax benefits?”

“Reaper don’t even say that dawg! of corpse she does...hehe!” McCrere said confidantly. “In fact, yeehaw I went to go see her just this mornjing and you know what she said to me? u know what she said to me rpepdepeepr?

“No what did she syay to u mccrre?”

“she said.......” mccere said mysteruously as he leaned in real close. “.....that she is so excited to get married to u! and she wants to spend the rest of her life with you and never hav children and own 12 cats!!!”

“OMFG” reaper yelled. “REALY?!??!”

“Ya.”

Reaper was crying harder now. “Thanx you jesse.” he said smiling thru the tears, taking off his mask momentiarily to fix his makeup. McCree gave him advice on contouring so he tried it and he looked amazing!

“What are you going to name your cats?” Mccccrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeee axed.

“Oh I already have ideaz!” raeper giggled. “Justin, Courtney, Pierre-”

“What? isnt Courtney the name of pharah’s gf?” McCree interruped.

“Oh her?” Reaper said. “I saw her at a death cab for cutie concert! she said they were just good friends.” he told mccree.

“Oh yea didnt they break up? omfg yea they did.” mccree gasped as he remembered. “courtnew was in the MAFIA!!!  She made lucio the godfather!!!”

“Omfg really? Why dont you tell me these things mccre??!?”

“Why dont you ever call me reaper?”

“Sorry I’ll be sure to call u sometime.” reaper apologized.

“Dat’s ok. Sorry i didnt call u.” McCree and reaper hugged, in a very emotional and no homo way. THen they realized.....it was almost time for the wedding! They said goodbye to each other and ran away.

Later at rhe wedding, everyone except torbjorn had been invited! Even gregg from night in the woods was there. Reaper was just standing there at the aislse wearing a beautiful black dress and then mei walked down in a stunning tuxedo, escorted by snowball. Everyone was crying tears of joy.

“ooh how beautiful.” the marriage guy stated. “Would u like to say some words of yuor love 4 each other?”

“Yes..uwu...” rraeper said turning to the audience. “When i first saw mei....i thought.... that i had Died. (again)” everyone gasped but he continued. “Because...standing in front of me on dat day...was.........an Angle” 

the audience's gasps turned to tears. mei was crying as well. and then..it was her turn.

“When Reaper and I met.......it was during da darkest times of our lives........but since then....we have gotten thru it! because our love, is strogner than anything” she said, shedding tears unto the floor. they smiled at each other because they were thoroughly in love.

“Romantic....” the officiant sighed. “Ok! does anybody have any objections!?!!?!”

No one said anything of corpse. Until.......

The doors suddenly slammed open. Everyone turned ti see who had kicked them open. and....they gasped.

“OI OBJECT TO THIS WEDDING!”

It was...................................Junkrat!


	40. junkies pledge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> an unexpected visitor @ mei and reaprerersersrgerererererererers weding!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AZ ALWAYS THX 2 OH NO 4 COMENTING! NO MORE MEMS IF UR OUT THERE I CAN STILL HEAR UR VOICE ECHOING OVER DA HORIZON

Reapwr gasped. “Junkrat?!?!? I thought you were dead?!?!” he roared shockedly.

“Oops.” mercy said from the seats.

Junkrat didn't care about them. he stepped forward.

“Reaper.” he announced.

“What?” Reaper snapped.

Junki took a deep breathe. “Reapah...when i died, i realized something. I realized, that all of us are going to die someday. So, where are we going to go when we die? Oi had a lot of time to thinj about dat. So..... I have changed my ways.” he held up a bible. “I.... im christian now”

reaper looked bored. “'In this moment, i am euphoric. not because of any phony god's blessing but because, i am enlightened by my own intelligence.’ -Aalewis.” he snarled like a rabid tiger in heat.

“Reapernnn!!! I have moar 2 say!” Junjrat cried out. “Even though thou are faithful no longer.............i still love you. every night i dream of how it would feel to lock mine own lips with thine. Ive never forgotten about our date on the cliff....you were so sexy back then....you still are” he purred christianically.

“Huh??? What date?????”.

“Reaper babe dont you remember??!??” Junki shouted.

Mei was watching all this and she was getting slightly annoyed. “Wtf?” she yelled. “Junkrat what are you doing here at my wedding? I didnt sped all this time bonding and loving reaper only for u to come in and think he would lov U more?? Wel.....think again!x” she roared.

“Of corpse reaper loves me more! i love him more den i love myself.” junkrat said biblically. “oi would do anything for reaper. I would die for Reaper.”

“Because of how much u admire him or because of how little yuo value your own life? Get outta here fool.” mei shouted.

“d-d-dats not true m.” junki said nervously.

“Of corpse it is.” Mei spat disgustedly. “people like u are just sad!!! U don't have a life of your own so you make ur whole life revolve around som1 else! but what do yuou do when that person is gone? or when they dont want you?” junkrat was quivering in fear. “what hapens then?” she whispered coldly.

“Uhh um umm.” junkrat stutered. “....I have to go.” he said, and ran away.

When Junkrat was gone the wgole audience stood up and started clapping.

“SAVAgEE” lùcius screeched and everyone cheered.

But reaper and mei didnt care. they were just romantically looking into each other’s eyes.

“Thanks for getting rid of him babe.” reaper whispered and he was really impressed and reminded of one of the many reasons why he loved mei.

“anytime baby.” mei said. And then.....they kissed! :)

At the reception the cake was delicious and of corpse there was also a vegan cake for symmetra. (Symmetra was vegan). No one ever saw junkrat again.


	41. age of justin pierre

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More adventures whit hte naked cowboy cult!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys were nearing tge end! ^_^

Mcceee was walking outsidr of Jollibee, about to enter, when he saw a bunch of cowbois approaching him.

_omfg!_ he thought worriedly as he began to take off his clothes.  When the cowboys reached him he was only waering his vermillion and orange cape thing, along with dark blue night in the woods underwear. The serape was twinkling in the moonlight because genjee had spilled his glitter all over it yesterday. He looked beautiful.

“Hey boys.” mccree murmured gruffly, yet sexily.

“Mcree!!!” the cowbos roared. “We are.........the naked cowboy cult!”

mccree gasped. “What are u doing out of new york?” he axed.

A singular cowboy stepped out the crowd and he looked as thoroughly clothed as he was angry. He didnt answer mccree’s question. Instead he roared “McCree! How long...have u been the naked cowboy?!?!?”

“Oh!” mccree said delightedly. “About 1 month i think!” he informed da naked cowboy cult, checking the date on his celephone. Sure enough it was march 21, 2076. “Dat was when i was 8 months pregnant....now...im ready to give birth to my baby boy! itll be any day now! i cant wait!” he giggled, showing the naked cowboy cult his tummy.

“Can i touch ur tummy?” a curious cult member axed shamelessly.

“Of corpse!” Then the whole cultwent up to mccree and took turns toching his pregnant tummy.

Torbjorn was there too. He saw everbody getting in line so he got in line too. But when it was his turn, mccree looked at him.......and slaped him in the face! 

“Youll never hurt my boyfriendnd....my baby hanzo!” mccree spat. Then torbjorn ran away crying.

Meanwhile the 1 cowboy who had stepped up was the only one who hadnt joined the festivities. instead he was looking at the cowboys, whit rage.

“HEY GUYS??? REMEMBER WAT WE CAME HERE 2 TDO???” he screamed. he sounded annoyed.

“yo chill.” a cowboy said as he put his head up to hanzo. “This is turly one of the great beautifes of life.”

“Ok this is getting creppy!! Tummy touching time is over.” mccree said pulling away and going to put his shirt back on. Except...he wasnt wearing one! (he was really buff and stuff) “so fellas..... whats da story of the naked cowboy cult?” he axed.

“Oh i can tell u sonny.” an old cowboy said, stepping right up. He looked like he had lived through not only generations, but eras. “Years ago. when the Original Naked Cowboy died, the people were in chaos. People were dying and we didnt know what to do without him in our lives.” he said, crying with the horible memory. “But hten...the naked cowboy cult rose up. Each year, a new young man would be voted to be the new naked cowboy. And the people would never notice a thing...so it has been 4 da past decades...and that is how it should be!!” he told mccree as he stroked his very long cowboy beard.

“Oh.” McCree said. “But why do u vote up a new naked cowboy every year? why not just have one until he retires?”

The old cowboy laughed. “haha! dat’s because being naked...the naked cowboy gets really cold every winter! and he freezes 2 death! so we always need a new one. Sometimes we need multiple new naked cowboys in the really bad winters.”

“Oh.” mcree said.

“I see u’ve been appointed the new naked cowboy, son. But yuo havent been in new york! The people have been rioting my boy!! They need their naked cowboy!!!!” the old man said. “Do u know what the punishment for being absent from your duties is?”

“v-v-vore?” mccree guessed, shaking in fear and trepidation.

“NO! ITS............DEATH” the old cowboy roared.

“Omfg!” mccree screeched. “Can u please spare me for now? im pregnant....”

“No.” the naked cowboy cult said colelctively, closing in around him. They were holding pitchforks, flaming torches, knives, swords, bows, guns, and all sorts of othe r lethal weapons and they were ready 2 kill!

Just as the first cultist was about to stab him.......suddenly mccree rose into the air, surrounded by a beam of light. Everyone gasped. Then....he spoke., in a voice that was not his own.

_ “howdy y’all.”  _

The old cowboy gasped and he fell to his knees. the other naked cowboy cultists whispered questions among demselves but the old cowboy knew hte truth.

“Its.....” he murmured . “the original Naked Cowboy.....”

“w-w-w-w-wat?!?!?” the naked cowboy cultists gasped. 

_ “partners.........” _ the original nakde cowboy said thru mccree.  _ “i see, that there is discourse among yall. yeehaw” _

“w-w-why have u come tt-t-t-o us?” a cowboy axed whit fear.

the Naked Cowboy chuckled.  _ “Because....buckle up y’all.... this here partner (mccree..).... is the feller i have chosen.” _ hte naked cowboy cultists gasped.  _ “Yes. This 100% American true sprited man has inherited.....my soul..... and so i hav chosen him!59 to be your leader for many gennerations forth howdy!” _

“Ok.” the cultists cheered and began to rejoice, for rhey had found their leader at last!!!

McCree began to descend back to the ground. “Now wasnt that a doozy, yeehaw!” he chuckled in his own voice.

“Hooray for mccree.” the cowboys cried as they picked him up as a crowd and began to carry him back to new york.


	42. short lived is all you'll ever be

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> maebea da most action pached chaper yet!torbjorn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wazup guys welcome 2 the latest chaptr!!!!! x3  
> I spent very long on dis chapter but that wasnt the time it took mr 2 write the hole chapter! no....I wuz drawingn.....This!!!!!!!!!!!  
> <http://i.imgur.com/Ov3Ral4.png>  
> it is a portryayol of the scene in chapter 37 where genji dies in mccrees arm.z.  
> ALSO PLZ NOT E THAT MCREe ISNT PRRGGNANO I FORGOT TO DRAW HIM PEGO PLZ FORGIVE ME MY READERZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE U ENJOI! XOXO

After escaping new york, mccree was looking forward to visiting quebec for its fine selections of tim hortons. He also wanted some poutine to bring home for genjee. So he was really excited to experience Canadia’s culture.

“Howdy partnerz!” he said to the candians as he pased by tipping his hat.

“Bonjour, amerikan” the canadains said, but stayed far away from him, maybe in fear that he would toch them with a deep fried donut bacon cheeseburger.

As he walked around montteal he saw an ad for, or should i say an ad “vore” snakes. Suddenly a new lyric for a new guitar song slapped his mind.

_My boyfriend hanzo is just like a snake. He unhinges his jaws to vore the whole cake._

it came to him as a beautiful country song and he wuz realy shocked because of how not only creative but also talented he was,and quiccly wrote it doen in his notebook. Hanzo would love this!

While he was walking, he also saw an ikea. His mind filled with disgust as he thought of forbjorn. The gremlin man was sooo vile. Suddenly mccree had an idea.

“MERCY.” he roared, excitedly, yet smoothly like a sexy tiger except human into his telephone. “ITS DIRE”

“Wat??” mercy snapped angrily. In the backgrojnd he could hear beethoven.

“Uhh uhhhh so u knoe how we all hate torbjohn and want him to just die all hte time?”

“Yea!” Mercy said with a brighter tone thanx to this relatable topic.

“Well i think i hav a cure! :D We should.........Execute tõrbjœrñ!” mccree told her excitedly.

“Omfg youre right!” mercy screamed with delight and passion with the thought of torgjorgs death. “Ill kidnap him rite away.”

“Kewl. I’ll be right ovrr whit our frends!” McCrerre cackled.

Later, everyone had gathered around town. Reaper, Mei, lucio, courtney, pharah, ana, reinheart, tracah, bastion, zenyatta, sombra, zarya, roadhog, orisa, and symmetra had all cleared their schedules to make tim e for this wondreful event.(Genjee was at a sleepover) And of course törbjórn was ther too. He was locked in a cage, not using his wheelchair because mercy had healed his spine 4 the occasion!

“Plz dont hurt me owo *cowers* *cries*” torbjoogle sobbed. he said the astrisks out loud and everything.

“,]Too late, toblerone.” Mercy said coldly. “Mccree bring the barrel!”

Mccracken came in right then, holding a torbjorbsized barrel. It looked perfect for him.

“Thanks jesse. Now before we begin.” Mercy began. “I will list off your transgresions....Mr. torgleberg.” toogle didnt say anything he was just crying. “1. takeing advantage of your lacc of verticle generosity to stare at not only my butt but everyones! omfg how thirsty can yoy get! you shameful old man dont think we dont see your potgs.” Symmetra, tracer, mei, and sombra nodded in agreement. Sonvra was holding a framed photo of widowmaker and she made it nod VERY vigorously, whit agreemrent.

“2. Yuore...an omnic phobe! do you kicc puppies torbnorn??? do u have no soul?” merxy cried out.

“As much of a soul as your omnic frends have.” torble spat angrily from his cage.

“Garbagd. trash. Who wants to execute torbygorgy for his crimes right now??” nercy roared. everyone except torbmourn put der hands up. Like in the song dynamite. I put my hands up in da air sometimes scrraming Torbjorn, why cant he die.

So then everyone took turns hammering rusty, long nails into the barrel. Zenyatta had put his discord on torbjorns soul so he would feel maximum pain, sombruh gave him one of widows venom minez from her belongings, and Roadie put in one of junkrats old traps. then they made torn take off his **_OUTER_ ** clothing **only** _!_ until he was in his underwer then they dropped him inside the barrel.

“A̸R͘G͝H ͢M̛YMOR̕T̵A̢L ̧F̛LĘSH͟” torgbeg screamed lkke a vampire to holy water as the trap sbapped off his beard

“Lol.” everyone else said in unisin. Then they connectedhe barrel to Orisa along with Reinhardt and a steed. Orisa and the steeds draged the barrel all throigh town. Finally,they reached the end of the very long town which had steep and bumpy cobblestone roads. However torbjorn was not dead as mrecy had been healing him constantly, keeping him on da verge of life and spiky rusty nail death. they unlatched da nail barrel and set it at the top of a hill, where it tumbled down into a river screaming in swedish all the way.

“Toblerone is dead. on March 22, just like mcr.” Mccree smiled, holding his pregnant tummy as he watched the barel sink into the depths.

“finally. Haha.” Sombra said behind him. “Shoukd we thro a party?”

mccre wuz about 2 respond, but then...........he felt something! He knew exactly wat it was.

“Omg.” he cried out. “Hanzo.......................is comming!”


	43. A Flame Extinguished by Fate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guyz =D  
> to babie: OMG IM SO SORY I FORGOT 2 REPLY TO YOUR COMMENT LAST CHATER!!! Da reason mercy couldnt resutercect winston is because her ult was charging D= hope u enjoy dis new chapter!  
> thx to oh no for yuor comments! Canad a 4 lyfe!  
> P.S. NO MORE MEMES UR READING OF CHAPTER 5 WAS GREAT!!!!!!!!! [(Link 4 all who have not heard)](https://soundcloud.com/nomorememes/chapter-5-chapter-5-the-big-boy)

It was.....the day. the day, that Jesse mccree would give birth. And mccree was in facct giving birth at this moment and he was in another room and mercy and sombra were in the waiting room, feeling very worried about their cowboy friend.

Mercy was pascing the room. Outside the windows, it was sunny but also raining. “Omg i am a doctor why wont they let me in?!? I need to see how my boy is doing” she screamed with frustration. sombra shrugged. she picked up a thicc, extremely aged, and well-loved journal someone had left on the table.

“Hmm” she said as she steadily gazed at the torn cover whith her ruby red orbs beautifully twinkling in the harsh white lights of the hospital. It read in really bad, faded handwriting..... _MY OBSERVATIONS AND OPINIONS OF THE ENTIRE SONIC THE HEDGEHOG SERIES (2017)._ “Interesting......” she smirked, quickly sneaccing the bocc into a pocket secretly sewn into the inside of her coat.

Alas mercy was watchnigng. “Sombruh! “ she hissed. “what did u just steal??”

“Nothing.” sombra said, blushing because her crush was talking to her.

Mercy wuz about to confront her when suddenly.... a dictor came out of the hospital room where mcree was giving birth 2 hanzo!

“OMG!” he screamed. “MERCY ZIELGLER WE NEED YUOR HELP! HTERE HAS BEEN...A COMPLICATION!”

“OMFG ILL BE RIGHT THERE” mercy screeched back like a mating call except it was an emergency call. Yet it was still one that brought them together inside mccrees hospital room. So what was it really? As she ran with the unnamed doctor she gave one final glare to sombra before she disappeared around the corner.

_....Whatever. i dont care._ sombra told herself. But she was lying. Deep in her kokoro she felt slight guilt for stealing the journal even tho whoever wrote it was probably long dead. She wanted 2 make it up to mercy. And she also felt concern for her 2nd best friend, Jesse mccree. What was hapening in dat room?!?!? However sh ehad confidence in Angela. that she could save him from whatever was happenign to him. With a sigh she took out the journal from her coat and began to read it intently as she waited for the news......

15 minutes later, mercy burst out the doors. her face was grim.

“WHATS THE NEWS!?!???!” somrbaba yelled as she slamed the book down and stood up.

“The birthing... was a success. hanzo is back with us now. However......” mrecy murmrued. suddenly her hands clenched into fists. “Mccree.......has died.”

“WAT?!?!?!” sombra gasppsed in horror and shock. “no........No!!!!!!” she screamed despairfully. “Wait cant u just rez him? Lol”

“I tried but..my rez....is still charging......” mercy lamented, showing sombogle her ult which was on 23%.

“OMG!” sombra roared. “What did u use it on??”

“My will to live”

“Ok.” somra said. she sighed with despair, now starting 2 cry tears of unspeakable pain. “I gues.s... we have to inform mccrees frensds....”

 

\--

 

Far away in like hawaii or something, mei and reper were on their sexy honeymoon! It was very very sexy and romantic, which is why they felt the need to make it sexier and more romantic by going on a sexy and romantic date!

“Hehe.” reaper giggled as he straightened his bowtie. “Mei honey! are u almost ready for our...hehe....Date?”

“Of corpse!” Mei said coming out of the room where she was changing her clothes into a more sexy outfit for their date.

_Omg._ repaper thought as he got distracted from her eyes. _My wife is soo sexy. I....need to tell her!!!_ “Wow mei, your jugs are looking.....Jugular”

“I know :3” mei smiled as she took a large swig from her jug of red wine. Her second jug she gave to reaper and he took a swig. it was....white wine!

Suddenly, as they were about to exit their hotel room......the phoen rang!

“Ugh coming!” reaper said to the non sentient phone which could not hear him as he ran over, because mei was holding herjugs and could not pick up the phone. “Who is this? Huh?? Mc...r.ree..??? No uve gotta be lying....you arent??? .......NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He slammed the phone down and fell to his knees. Mei put down her jugs and ran to him and held him in his arms. Reaper did not have to say anything as he cried.,,.,..but she knew wat had happened. They cried together through the night.

 

Meanwhile, in a different timr zone, Lüçîõ Çørrìéåß dœß ßãñtöß was setting up for his upcoming concert latre dat day!

“Hehe, im excited.” he told Courtney who was helpinh him set up.

“Yea i am too.” courney said.However, it was for a diffrent reason. Now that she was lucios official bodyguard she could now legally shoot people! .....as long as they attacked Luçio first. But she didnt wanna say she wuz excited for him to get assaulted, so she didnt elaborate.

They sat 2gether on a big speaker thing and watched the rest of the mafia carry out and set up concert equipment. ever since luciœ had been trained to take over leadership of the mafia, he had not wanted them to kill anyome. So he had just made them all his roadies.

“Ok i better go. i have to change into my concert outfit.” lucio told corgi who nodded in agreement. They had planned matcihing outfits that would make their debut in this concert for it was the first in a long worldwide tour! da outfits comprised of sparkling green ripped japris, green shutter sunglasses, a green OBEY hat, and a green short sleeve shirt that said “LUCIO” across the front with “AYYYY” on the back, both in bold glittery lettering, and underneath it, white long sleeves.  All this was compelmented by neon green high heel boots that had golden buckles on the outer sides. And of course, they both had matching gold chain necklaces that had the other’s first initial.

Suddenly, lucio got a call on his celephone! “Who is it?” he said in a friendly voice. then he gasped in horror and shock. “Really? Nooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” he yelled.

“what?” courtney said noncommitally, chewing (green) bubble gum.

Luco put the ohone down. he was crying. “Mccree....died...” he sobbed.

“Who? .....Oh the pregnant guy! thats tragic” courtne said. deep down she wonderd how pharah would react to the news. But she would never find out. That day, lucio dedicated the concrt to their fallen frend.

 

In another place from that one, pharah was just chilling in her apartmet. she scrolled through her camera roll on her phone idly and sighed as she came across a selfie with courtney she hadnt deleted. from back when they were..........Together.... Of course they couldnt have stayed otgether. Cortney was in the mafia after all!!

Yet she could not help but wonder what it would be like. the days they could spend together not only smorking weed, and supporting each other thrru their painful lifes. She knew it wouldnt last forever. but she didn’t know their time together would be so short. she missed courtney. She missed the times they had spent together and the bond they shared. But she had to let go of what if. and she had 2 let go of what was now the past.

Phara stood up from her designated “chill and browse phone trying to forget ancient memories” chair and decided to delete her dating profiles. She could stay single a ltitle longer....

Suddenly her phone started singing. _“IF YOU’RE STORNG, YOU CAN FLY, YOU CAN REACH THE OTHER SIDE OF THE RAINBOW.”_

Pharah snatched it from the table. “What? Come on i was trying to have a moment” she snarled to the insentient object before answering the call. She gasped. “What! No.... Not mccree! Aaah!! I’ll be right over sombra.” she grimeaced.

She ended the call and the phone screen went back ot the picture of her with courtney. maybe....she wouldnt delete this pic. Then she closed her phone and ran out the door.

 

At No Frills, Zenyaatta was crying as he hurriedly bagged groceriees.

“Hurry up dumm bot thhose groceries arent gonna bag themselves!” a grotesque middle aged man in a greasy, unwashed tank top roared, shaking his fist.

_of corse they arent. this isnt the checkout lane with the automatic grocerie bagging machines._  zen thought. “Im doing my best pwease stop yelling at me. D=” he told the man. When the grotesuqe middle aged man in a greasy, unwashed tanktop man wasnt looking, he packed a watermelon on top of the bread, which was whole grain. _squinch_ he thot.

Soon, Znenyada’s shift was ovre. “HUZZAH” he said in celebreation as the grotesque, balding middle aged man in the greasy abd unwashed tank top stared at him. He shed his nofrills apron like a snakes skin as his feet touched the ground and ran out of the store.

As he sprinted, he could hear a shrill screech in the distance. “I still have 2 more carts of watermelons” he ignored it.

Suddenly, just as he arrived at his house, he got a phone call on his tiny flip phone ( he couldnt afford anything else) and he picced it up. And gasped. “Mccree.....my friend.....NOoooooo!” he cried out tranquilly. He didnt know wat to do. Everyone he knew and loved was dying one by one. He hung up and sank to the ground, crying tears of eternal despair.

 

Finally, somra and mercy had called everyone they knew mccree was friends with.

“Im glad thats over.” Sombra said depressedly. “Oh by the way wheres hanzo??”

“Hes taking a shower. Lol” mercy said.

“Lol.” Sombra siad. She sighed. Was this the end for mcerre?


	44. destiny for two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> http://i.imgur.com/nQEBFfc.png

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyguys this is the last chapter! :3 thx everbody for sticing by to the end! no thank u to anyone who skiped to the end!  
> id like 2 specially thank: No More memes, oh no (anonymous commenter), and frohoe for being especally sexy fans. everyome who made content 4 the story. & my SEXY bf along whit my FREND for beta reading and sharing ideaz! :-)  
> and i would like 2 normally thank: every1 who comented, bookmarked, and gave kudoz. Except people who just said "wtf is this" and is this a crack fic. I will use yuor flames to cook brownies@!!!!!

McCree was hanving a dream. A dream, of all the memeories he had colected over his life...

_“ahh im a cowboi.” he yelled shootoing his gun at blackwatcc soldiers._

_Suddenly gabriel reyes was there and he was like “Hey kid wtf is your deal? I don’t care tho come join blacwatch.”_

_“I don’t know WHAT you’re saying you old geezer.”_

_“Join our e_ lit _e squad or be imprisond for da rest of yuor life.”_

_“Ok fine.”_

_..._

_“Hey gabey babey who the heck is dat sexy beast??”_

_“Uhhh please dont call our new recruit a sexy beast”_

_“Tell me his name”_

_“His name.....is genji shimada.”_

_....._

_“LET’S MCFREAKIN LOSE IT!!!” he screamed seductively gazing at his sexy boyfriend with hair the color of neon puke. “And by it i mean my voreginity.”_

_..._

_1 week later he was sobbing. his boyfriend had been assassillurdered. Assassinated, killed, and murdered all in one._

_“ill never love again. And...” he clenched his fist. “Wehn i find out who did this to you. I. Will. kill. them.”_

_..._

_the next day he met a mysterious man with a nipple out and eyes the color of cold hamburger meat._ hey that guy is pretty sexy. whats his name? _he wondered..._

_....._

_it was a month later and he was in sexylicious love._

_“Hi daddy!” he suddenly heard a voice and it was like a chorus of angels calling out to him from afar._

_“howdy” he murmured back catching his boyfriend who had run into his loving arms._

_“vore me daddy.....”_

_..._

_and now...the present day. He was ded, but dat was ok. As long as he knew his bboi hanzo was safe and alive..... (Whcih he didnt so he was a little worried.)_

_In his dream he was drifting htru space. Suddenly, he heard a cry._

_“Huhu, huhu.”_

_“come out” mccree said._

_the source of the voie came out of the abyss and mccree saw that not just one but 2 dragons had come out. But not just any dragons. They were hanzos dragons!_

_Mccree inquired about his boyfriend. “have u not seen hanzo?”_

_“No.” the 2nd dragon said._

_“neiher have i.” mccree chuckled._

_“Then we are like you. Huhu, huhu, huhu.” the 2 dragons said in unison before leaving mccree._

_“W,at??? Wait come back wtf!” he shouted. He needed 2 knoe what they had meant. and why. But they were gone... and mccree was olone again._

  


In the waking world sombra and mercy were together in the hospital room. The hospital room, whr mccree was thoroughly dead.

“You werent kidding mercy. _Pobercito..._ he is thoroughly dead” sombra said hackily looking at his ded body.

suddenly, Mercy looked like she had an idea. “Sombro!” she cried out. “what if....u just....Hack him to be alive?”

“......i havent tried that in years...” sombourbon said, darkly. “I think its just too risky.”

They both sighed. Was al hope for mccreie.....Gone?

Just then Hanzo burst into the room, lolking clean. “Where is he?” he screamed. if voices could physically have tear ducts then his would be crying tears of blood right now. “where is my boyfriend?”

“Hanzo...sweetie... how were those 9 months?” mercy axed randomly, ignoring his desperate plea.

“It doesnt matter.” hanzo sobbed as he ran over to mccree's thoroughly daed side. He cried onto his body but this wasnt the movies so it didn't bring him back to life unfortunately. “All i want....is my true love...bacck....” Then he turned to mercy, mascara dripping off his face and onto mccre. “Cant u do anything?” he axed drsperately.

“No.” mercy sighed. “My ult is just on...29%.....”

“WAit.” Sombra gasped. “What if. I hackdd yuor ult charge!!!!”

“Omfg do it bruh!”

“Beep boop” sombra said, pulling out her hacking gear and quickly hacking mercym.

“It...worked.......” mercy murmured. “..........SEXY COWBOYS NEVER DIE!”

But nothing happenrd!

“Wtf? my ult is fully charged!!!” mercy said then repeated her line. But マクリー was still thoroughly dedo.

“Omg.” sonbra and hanzo both said.

“Umm....BEAUTIFUL COWBOYS NEVER DIE”

Nothing happened. Until.... Mccrreess eyes opened!

“Hanzo?” he said delightedly as he sat up.

“m-m-mccree!” hanzo cried. Tru love was in their eyed as they embraced each.other.

“oh, romantic” sombra said, looking at mercy and wishing they could be the same

then mccree and hanzo shared lotz of not only intimate but passionate smoochies and they were really sexy and romantic. the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SEQUEL IS HERE https://archiveofourown.org/works/14065617


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